How do I build emotional confidence in boys and girls equally? 

Parenting Perspective 

All Emotions are Valid 

Building emotional confidence in both boys and girls equally involves teaching them to value and to express their emotions in healthy ways, regardless of their gender. You can start by emphasising that all emotions, from happiness to sadness, are valid and deserve to be expressed. You might say, ‘Everyone has feelings, and it is okay to express them. Emotions are a part of being human, and they do not make anyone weak, whether you are a boy or a girl.’ 

Create Opportunities for Expression 

Create opportunities for both your sons and daughters to engage in activities that promote emotional expression, such as journaling, art, or storytelling. It is important to praise their efforts to express themselves thoughtfully, whether it is through creative projects or through open discussions. ‘I love how you expressed yourself through your drawing. That shows great emotional awareness.’ This reinforces the idea that emotional confidence comes from being in touch with one’s feelings and from learning to communicate them effectively. 

Model Emotional Openness 

Finally, you can model emotional openness yourself. When you express your own feelings, whether it is joy, frustration, or sadness, it shows your children that it is normal to share emotions, and it reinforces the idea that emotional confidence is for everyone, regardless of gender. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, emotional expression is not only accepted but is also encouraged. Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 43: 

‘And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination.’ 

This verse teaches us that managing our emotions with patience and forgiveness is a sign of strength, and that this applies equally to both boys and girls. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also exemplified emotional intelligence in his interactions. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith reinforces that emotional strength is demonstrated through how we manage our feelings and our relationships, not through suppressing our emotions. By teaching both your sons and daughters to build their emotional confidence, you are helping them to grow in line with these Islamic principles of emotional intelligence and self-awareness.