What can I say when my child complains it is too much work? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child complains that a habit is ‘too much work’, their words are often a sign of feeling overwhelmed or disconnected from the purpose of the task, rather than a simple expression of laziness. For parents trying to cultivate routines like consuming Sunnah foods, the key is to respond not with a lecture, but with empathy and practical adjustments. The goal is to listen to the underlying feeling, simplify the action, and reconnect your child to the meaning behind it.  

The Empathy-First Approach: Acknowledging the Feeling 

Before you can solve the problem, you must first connect with the person. When your child complains, the most powerful initial response is to validate their experience. A simple and sincere statement like, ‘I hear you. It can sometimes feel like a lot to remember another thing in the morning,’ can instantly lower their defences. This empathetic approach shows that you are their ally, not their enforcer. It communicates that their feelings are legitimate and that you are willing to understand their perspective.  

Making It ‘Too Easy to Fail’: Simplifying the Task 

Often, a task feels like ‘too much work’ because it is perceived as a single, large effort. The solution is to deconstruct the habit into its smallest possible components, making it feel almost effortless. Help your child see the routine not as a complex presentation but as a tiny, manageable action. You can break the task into steps and focus on the absolute minimum. The goal is simply to have a single date or a small spoonful of honey.  

Connecting the ‘Work’ to a ‘Why’: Highlighting the Purpose 

Children, like adults, are far more motivated to perform a task when they understand its purpose. A habit can feel like pointless work if it is disconnected from a meaningful ‘why’. Take a moment to highlight the benefits in a way that resonates with them. You can connect it to their own goals, explaining that these foods provide ‘brain energy’ for school or ‘strength’ for playing sports. Crucially, connect it to the spiritual purpose: that this simple act is a way of showing love for the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. At the same time, you must model ease and enjoyment in your own practice.  

Spiritual Insight 

The feeling of a religious practice being ‘too much work’ often stems from a misunderstanding of its divine purpose. Islam is a faith of ease (yusr), and the guidance of Allah Almighty and His Prophet Muhammad ﷺ is designed to lighten our burdens, not add to them. The Sunnah is a path of balance and moderation. When a child feels overwhelmed, it is a perfect opportunity to reconnect them with these core principles.  

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mulk (67), Verse 15: 

‘It is He who has made for you the Earth subservient (to your needs); so, walk (freely) amongst its marvels…’ 

This beautiful verse reminds us that Allah has made the earth and its provisions manageable and accessible for us. He did not design the world to be a place of excessive difficulty. The wholesome foods of the Sunnah are a part of this divinely facilitated provision. They are simple, natural gifts intended for our benefit and nourishment. This verse teaches that we are encouraged to enjoy these provisions as a mercy from Allah.  

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3688, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness, and He grants reward for it that He does not grant for harshness.’ 

This profound hadith provides direct guidance for both the parent and the child. For the parent, it is a reminder not to be ‘harsh or burdensome’ in the way they teach and encourage these habits. The approach must be one of gentleness and patience. For the child, the second part of the hadith is the perfect answer to their complaint. We can explain that Allah is not asking for a big, difficult, or time-consuming action. What He loves most are the ‘small deeds done regularly’. This reframes the entire practice.