Parenting Perspective 

Emphasise Respectful Communication 

Teaching your child how to advise their friends gently is an important skill that fosters respect, empathy, and positive relationships. When children want to help a friend, it is essential that they learn how to offer their advice in a kind and thoughtful way. You can start by discussing the importance of being respectful. Explain that the way advice is given can make a big difference in how it is received. For example, you can say, ‘When you see that your friend is doing something that might not be right, it is important to speak to them kindly, not in a way that makes them feel bad.’ 

Frame Words with Care 

Encourage your child to consider their friend’s feelings before giving advice. You can help them to frame their words in a way that is gentle and considerate. For example, instead of saying, ‘You are doing this wrong,’ they could say, ‘I think there is another way you could try this.’ This softer approach is more likely to be received well and will prevent your child’s friend from feeling criticised or hurt. 

Practice Through Role-Play 

Role-playing can be an effective way to practise giving advice. You can set up different scenarios where your child can practise offering advice to a friend. For instance, they could practise advising a friend who is upset or is trying to make a difficult decision. It is important to praise your child when they approach the situation with kindness and tact, as this reinforces the idea that offering advice gently is an important part of being a good friend. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, kindness in advising others is highly encouraged. Allah Almighty teaches us the importance of gentleness and respect in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 159: 

‘So, it is by the mercy from Allah (Almighty) that you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) are lenient with them; and if you had been harsh (in your speech) or restrained in your heart, they would have dispersed from around you….’ 

This verse highlights the significance of gentleness in communication, especially when advising others. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught us to advise others with gentleness and care. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2594, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Gentleness is not in anything except that it beautifies it.’ 

This Hadith reinforces the idea that kindness and gentleness should be at the heart of all our advice. By teaching your child to offer their thoughts gently, you are guiding them to follow the example of the Prophet ﷺ, encouraging empathy, kindness, and wisdom in their relationships.