Parenting Perspective 

When a child apologises sarcastically in public by rolling their eyes, mumbling, or using a mocking tone, it shows that they understand the word ‘sorry’ is expected, but they are resisting its true spirit. This is no longer just an issue of manners, but becomes an important opportunity to teach sincerity, empathy, and respect. The goal is to correct the behaviour without shaming them in front of others, while ensuring they learn that sarcasm undermines the very purpose of an apology.

Correct Calmly and Without Drawing Attention 

If your child says ‘sorry’ in a sarcastic manner, it is important to avoid overreacting in the moment. Calling them out publicly is likely to escalate their feelings of embarrassment and resistance. Instead, it is better to remain calm, let the incident pass with minimal attention, and plan to address it later. 

Revisit the Behaviour Privately and Firmly 

Later, when you are in a private space, you can explain clearly why their tone was unacceptable. You might say, “When you said you were sorry in that tone of voice, it did not sound real. A sincere apology is meant to make someone feel better, not to make fun of them.” This separates the behaviour from their inherent worth, allowing you to correct them without causing shame. 

Practise What a Sincere Apology Sounds Like 

It can be very effective to role-play sincere apologies at home. You can model the correct tone and body language by saying, “I am sorry for interrupting you. I can see that it hurt your feelings.” You can then contrast this with a sarcastic version and ask your child which one feels kinder. Children often respond well to seeing and hearing the difference for themselves. 

Connect Apology to Respect and Character 

Remind your child that offering an apology is not about avoiding punishment, but about building trust and showing respect. You could say, “People will take you more seriously when they know you mean what you say. Sarcasm can make people feel hurt and disrespected.” This helps them to understand that sincerity is tied to their own dignity and character. 

By teaching calmly, modelling the correct behaviour, and connecting the apology to the value of respect, you can help your child to understand that sarcasm weakens their character, while sincerity is what truly strengthens relationships. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that sincerity (ikhlas) is the quality that gives true value to our words and deeds. An insincere apology, especially one that is laced with mockery, not only fails to repair a relationship but also risks causing further harm. Guiding your child away from sarcasm and towards sincerity is a way of instilling the core Islamic values of humility and truthfulness. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzaab (33), Verses 70: 

‘O those of you, who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty) and always speak with words of blatant accuracy.’ 

This verse reminds us that our speech must always be respectful and sincere, reflecting a sense of justice and humility. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught that our words should always carry goodness. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6018, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or else keep silent.’ 

This teaches us that if our words do not carry goodness, it is better to remain silent. Sarcasm that belittles others directly contradicts this fundamental principle. By linking the importance of sincerity in an apology to these core Islamic values, children learn that their words carry weight and responsibility. They begin to see that being sincere is not about avoiding trouble, but is instead about embodying respect, humility, and truth, which are values that strengthen both their faith and their relationships.