Parenting Perspective 

When your child admits they are scared to tell you the truth, it is a crucial moment. It is not a sign of failure, but a brave invitation to look deeper. Their fear may stem from past reactions or a simple desire not to disappoint you. Your response now can rebuild trust and transform a risky feeling into a safe one. 

Thank Them for Their Honesty About Fear 

Your very first words should honour their vulnerability. Say, ‘Thank you for being brave enough to tell me you are scared. That in itself is a very honest and important thing to say.’ This immediately rewards their openness. 

Gently Explore the Source of Their Fear 

Try to understand what is driving their fear without being forceful. Ask open-endedly, ‘Can you help me understand what you are worried might happen if you tell me the truth?’ Listening patiently to their answer is key to addressing the real issue. 

Reassure Them of Unconditional Love 

They need to hear that your love is not at stake. Make a clear and simple promise: ‘Even if I am disappointed or upset by what you tell me, I will never stop loving you. Our relationship is stronger than any mistake.’ 

Reflect on and Adjust Your Own Reactions 

This is a moment for honest self-reflection. If you know you have reacted harshly in the past, own it. Admitting, ‘I know I have been too angry before, and I am truly sorry if I made you feel unsafe. I am working on being calmer,’ can be a powerful act of trust-building. 

By meeting their fear with empathy and a commitment to change, you can transform honesty from a source of anxiety into a safe and respected choice. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that while our primary fear should be of Allah, parents have a duty to create an environment of mercy that does not add to a child’s worldly fears. When a child feels safe enough to be honest, they are better able to connect with the Islamic ideal of truthfulness as a core tenet of faith. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verse 119: 

‘ O you who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty) and (always) be in the company of the truthful (people)…’ 

This verse commands believers to align themselves with the truthful, a state that can only be achieved when the fear of Allah outweighs the fear of people. A parent’s role is to make this choice easier. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 34, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The signs of a hypocrite are three: whenever he speaks, he tells a lie; whenever he makes a promise, he breaks it; and whenever he is entrusted, he proves to be dishonest.’ 

This hadith powerfully illustrates that trustworthiness and honesty are not optional extras but are central to the identity of a believer. Creating a home where these qualities can be practiced without fear is therefore a religious duty for parents. 

By showing patience and mercy when your child feels scared, you guide them towards courage in honesty. Over time, they will learn that truth-telling not only strengthens their relationship with you but also draws them closer to Allah Almighty.