Parenting Perspective 

When a visiting child breaks one of your house rules, it can be difficult to know how to respond. Parents often feel torn between being polite to their guests and protecting their family’s boundaries. Ignoring the behaviour can confuse your own children, while overreacting can cause embarrassment. The best approach is to intervene calmly, keeping your correction gentle but clear, so that your values are upheld without creating an awkward atmosphere. 

Correct With Kindness and Clarity 

Use simple, neutral language to state the household rule. You could say, ‘In our house, we have a rule about not jumping on the sofa,’ or ‘We always keep our food at the table.’ It is important to keep your tone friendly but firm. This helps to enforce the boundary clearly without shaming the visiting child. 

Redirect to an Alternative 

Instead of only saying ‘no’, try to offer a positive alternative. For example: ‘We do not run inside the house, but you are both welcome to run and play in the garden,’ or ‘The food needs to stay in the kitchen, so let’s take our snacks and sit there together.’ This approach turns the correction into positive guidance, rather than a rejection of the child’s energy. 

Reinforce Later With Your Own Child 

After your guest has left, take a moment to speak with your own child. You can say, ‘You did a wonderful job of following our family rules today. Even when others forget, we still keep our rules because they help to protect our home.’ This strengthens their understanding of consistency and reassures them that your family values are important. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages hospitality, but it also commands us to protect our household and maintain dignity in all our interactions. Important family rules are not suspended just because guests are present; rather, they should be upheld with gentleness and respect. 

Upholding Principles with Respect 

The Quran reminds us that while we will encounter people with different customs, righteousness is upheld by adhering to our core principles with respect. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verses 13: 

‘ O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other; indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous…’ 

The Balance of Hospitality 

The prophetic tradition makes it clear that honouring a guest is a profound act of faith. This honour is preserved through kindness and fairness, not by neglecting the values and order of one’s household. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3672, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or remain silent; and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honour his neighbour; and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him honour his guest.’ 

By correcting guest children calmly, you are reflecting the prophetic balance between hospitality and responsibility. Your own child learns that kindness and boundaries can coexist, and that upholding your values with gentleness is an act of faith.