Parenting Perspective 

When a child asks, ‘Are you and Dad okay?’, it is often because they are sensitive enough to have detected a shift in the emotional atmosphere, even if nothing has been said directly. They are seeking reassurance, not full disclosure. Oversharing the details can overwhelm them, but dismissing their question entirely can leave them feeling anxious and ignored. The safest approach is to answer honestly but simply, providing security without imposing a burden. 

Reassure Them Simply and Honestly 

Use calm, clear, and simple words that acknowledge the reality of the situation without giving away unnecessary detail. Good examples include: 

• ‘Yes, we are okay. We sometimes disagree on things, but we always work them out.’ 

• ‘We are okay. All parents have their ups and downs, but the important thing is that we are a team.’ 

This approach validates their perception while making it clear that the situation is under control and not their responsibility to fix. 

Redirect the Focus Back to Their Security 

Follow up your initial answer with a statement that redirects their focus back to their own sense of safety and security. You could add, ‘The most important thing for you to know is that we both love you very much, and you do not need to worry about this’. This shifts their attention away from fear and back towards feeling secure. 

Maintain Healthy Boundaries 

If your child presses for more details, it is important to gently but firmly close that line of conversation. You could say, ‘That is something that Mum and Dad need to talk about privately, but you can always be sure that we are here for you’. This sets a healthy boundary and reinforces their role as a child, not a counsellor or a confidant. 

By answering your child’s sensitive questions with a blend of reassurance, honesty, and clear limits, you provide the emotional safety they are craving without opening the door to burdens they are not equipped to carry. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages both truthfulness and mercy in family relationships, but it also places great importance on wisdom in speech. Protecting children from the details of adult matters while simultaneously reassuring them of their security is part of their right to be raised with emotional safety. 

The Command to Speak with Wisdom 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzab (33), Verse 70: 

‘ O those of you, who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty) and always speak with words of blatant accuracy.’ 

This verse reminds us that our speech must always be wise, just, and measured (sadeed). When speaking to a worried child, this means choosing words that are truthful but also appropriate for their level of understanding and emotional capacity. 

The Virtue of Wise Speech or Silence 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6136, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or keep silent.’ 

This profound teaching guides us in situations of sensitivity. It reminds us that not every truth needs to be spoken in full detail. Sometimes, speaking a simpler, kinder truth or remaining silent on the specifics is the better and more merciful choice, especially when a child’s heart is at stake. 

By answering your child’s question carefully, you strike the perfect Islamic balance between honesty and protection. Your child learns that love and unity are constants in their family, even if disagreements sometimes arise, and that their parents will always guard their innocence while guiding them with wisdom.