Parenting Perspective 

A child’s natural curiosity can often lead them to peek at a parent’s phone messages or open post that is lying around the house. While this is not always driven by malicious intent, the behaviour can cross important boundaries and lead to misunderstandings. A fair and effective policy is one that protects privacy while teaching respect in a way that feels just and reasonable to the child. 

Establish the Principle of Reciprocal Respect 

Begin by explaining the underlying principle of fairness and mutual respect. You could say, ‘In our family, we believe that everyone has a right to private messages and letters. Just like we would never read your diary or your school notes without asking you first, we expect you not to open our post or read our chats’. By using fairness as the framework, the rule becomes easier for them to understand and accept. 

Set Clear and Simple Rules 

After explaining the principle, define the rules in simple, concrete terms that leave no room for ambiguity: 

• Post should only be opened by the person whose name is on the envelope. 

• Chats and messages on phones or laptops are private unless a parent chooses to share them. 

• Permission must always be asked before reading or opening anything that does not belong to you. 

Channel Their Curiosity Positively 

If your child’s actions are driven by curiosity, you can channel that interest in a positive direction. For example, you could let them help you sort the mail pile or teach them the joy of writing and receiving their own letters. With phones, you can occasionally share a harmless family-related chat with them. This allows them to feel included without crossing privacy lines. 

By making your privacy rules reciprocal and rooted in respect, you can protect your personal boundaries while modelling the very fairness you wish to teach. Your children will learn that respecting personal space is an integral part of the trust and dignity that defines a healthy family. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places great value on both trust and privacy, teaching that protecting personal correspondence is a way of honouring each other’s God-given dignity. Instructing children not to intrude on private chats or post is an important way to instil discipline and respect for others. 

The Prohibition of Spying 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 12: 

‘…And do not spy (on each other) and do not let some of you backbite against others; would one of you like to eat the meat of his mortally expired brother? Not at all – you would find it repulsive…’ 

This powerful verse commands believers to avoid spying on one another. Teaching a child not to read private messages is a direct application of this Quranic principle, protecting them from a behaviour that is likened to a great sin. 

The Sanctity of Personal Privacy 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 4861, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘If a man looks into your house without permission and you throw a stone and put out his eye, there will be no blame on you.’ 

This stark and powerful Hadith is not a literal instruction, but it serves to teach us just how seriously Islam views the violation of a person’s privacy and personal space. It underscores that these boundaries are sacred and must be respected. 

By applying a fair policy that your children can understand, you align your family life with the Islamic values of respect and trust. Your children learn that curiosity must always be guided by dignity, and that privacy is a right given by Allah Almighty to every individual.