What if my child struggles to understand jokes? 

Parenting Perspective 

Understanding the Challenge 

Some children, especially those with social communication difficulties or special educational needs (SEN), find jokes, sarcasm, and playful teasing confusing. They may take words literally, feel hurt when others are only ‘playing around’, or miss the hidden meaning. If your child struggles in this way, it is important to know that it is not about a lack of humour but about how their brain processes language and social cues. 

Explaining and Identifying Cues 

Start by noticing which types of jokes confuse them most. Is it wordplay, teasing, or sarcasm? When a confusing moment happens, calmly explain: ‘He did not mean you really have a big head; it was just a silly way to say your ideas are big.’ Use simple examples and repeat them over time, as this understanding takes practice. Help your child learn to spot the signs that something is a joke: the tone of voice, the smile, or the laughter that follows. 

Teaching Them How to Respond 

Role-play small scenarios: you can say something silly on purpose, then explain how they can tell you are joking. Praise any effort to join in or to ask for clarification: ‘I love that you asked, “Was that a joke?” That was very clever.’ If your child feels upset by jokes, show them how to speak up kindly: ‘I do not like that joke. Please stop.’ Teach them that it is okay to walk away if a ‘joke’ feels unkind. Remind siblings and friends to be patient and to keep their humour gentle and clear. 

Celebrate Their Own Sense of Humour 

Celebrate your child’s own sense of humour too. Perhaps they enjoy silly noises, physical comedy, or funny stories more than complex wordplay. Finding what makes them laugh builds confidence and connection, without forcing them to ‘get’ every single joke. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours honesty and clear speech, while also cherishing laughter and smiles that bring hearts together. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujurat (49), Verse 11: 

‘O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them… ‘

This Ayah reminds us that humour should never cross into mockery or humiliation. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ would smile, laugh gently, and use light-hearted words, but never hurt anyone’s feelings. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1828, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people.‘

This Hadith Shareef teaches that kindness and clarity in speech keep relationships warm and hearts safe. 

Make a small Dua with your child: ‘O Allah Almighty, help me understand others and help others understand me.’ Remind them that it is perfectly fine to ask questions when something feels unclear; this is not weakness but wisdom. 

By guiding your child with patient practice, warmth, and gentle spiritual reminders, you help them build social confidence. They learn that laughter can be a blessing when it is shared with care, and that every effort to understand and connect is loved by Allah Almighty.