Parenting Perspective 

It is common for children to resist making amends because they feel embarrassed. They might hide, become defensive, or insist that a quick ‘sorry’ is enough. This feeling of embarrassment can be overwhelming, especially in front of others. The key is to teach them that the act of repair is not a punishment, but a way to show strength, care, and maturity. 

Help Them Understand That Embarrassment Is Normal 

You can reassure your child by saying, ‘Everyone makes mistakes, and it is very normal to feel a bit shy or embarrassed afterwards. What matters most is that we still try to make things better.’ This validates their feelings while still gently encouraging them towards taking responsibility. 

Offer Gentle Options for Repair 

Instead of demanding a grand or public gesture, you can suggest smaller, less intimidating steps. This could be a quick, quiet apology, helping to clean up a mess they made, or offering to share a toy as a kind action. Taking gradual steps helps to reduce the pressure and makes the act of repair easier to accept. 

Model Courage in Your Own Apologies 

Children learn best from your example. If you make a mistake in front of them, you can show them how you handle your own embarrassment by saying, ‘I felt a bit shy about saying sorry just now, but I knew it was the right thing to do.’ This shows them that courage means doing what is right, even when it feels uncomfortable. 

Praise the Effort, Not Just the Outcome 

When your child manages to overcome their embarrassment and makes an effort to repair a situation, be sure to highlight their bravery. A comment like, ‘I know that was hard for you to do, but you did the right thing, and I am proud of you,’ helps to turn their focus from shame to a sense of pride. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, humility is an honoured virtue, and the act of overcoming one’s embarrassment to do the right thing is a sign of true sincerity. Making amends, even when it feels difficult, aligns with the core values of compassion and courage that Allah loves. 

Humility as a Sign of Strength 

The Quran reminds us that humility, even when it feels uncomfortable in a social situation, is a sign of true strength and nobility in a believer. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 63: 

‘ And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “Peace be unto you”.‘ 

Overcoming Shame with Good Deeds 

The prophetic tradition teaches us that the act of repairing a wrong, even when it is difficult or embarrassing to do so, is a part of having good character and is a means of wiping away our mistakes. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1987, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah wherever you are and follow up a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards people.’ 

By framing the act of repair as a form of humility that is beloved to Allah, you are giving your child a higher purpose that can override their feeling of embarrassment. They learn that true courage is not about avoiding shame, but about choosing to do what is right.