Parenting Perspective 

Differences in parenting styles are an inevitable part of marriage, but they do not have to become a source of division in your family. When these differences are handled with respect, they can actually be used to strengthen your teamwork and to create a healthier sense of balance for your child. The key is to learn how to turn your differences into complementary strengths, rather than allowing them to become constant points of conflict. Developing a set of steady, agreed-upon habits can help to transform these differences into a source of unity. 

Practise Regular ‘Check-in’ Meetings 

Set aside a protected time each week to talk about your parenting wins and your current challenges. Holding these conversations in private helps to reduce tension, and it shows your child that their parents are able to resolve matters respectfully. 

Share in the Decision-Making 

For any major issues that arise, you can agree to always consult one another before making a final decision. This simple habit helps to prevent one parent from feeling excluded and reinforces your sense of partnership. 

Back Each Other Up in Public 

Even if you happen to disagree with a decision your spouse has made, it is important to support them in front of your child. You can always save your disagreements for a private discussion later on. This simple habit helps to protect your unity and avoids confusing your child. 

Celebrate Each Other’s Strengths 

Verbalise your appreciation for your spouse’s strengths often, for example by saying, ‘I love the way you made their homework feel so fun for them today.’ Consistently acknowledging each other’s contributions helps to build confidence and a sense of goodwill. 

Divide and Rotate Your Roles 

You can assign particular responsibilities to each other, such as one parent handling the bedtime routine while the other helps with schoolwork, and then rotate these roles occasionally. This makes your teamwork visible to your child and helps to ensure that neither of you feels overburdened. 

By building these simple habits of communication, respect, and mutual appreciation, you can show your child that your differences are not a weakness, but are in fact a strength that helps to create balance in your family life. 

Spiritual Insight 

Teamwork as an Act of Worship 

Islam values the principles of consultation, fairness, and mercy within our family relationships. The act of working as a team in your parenting is a form of worship, because it helps to protect the sacred trust (amanah) of raising your children with love and justice. 

The Principle of Mutual Consultation (Shura) 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verses 38: 

‘And those people that respond to (the commandments of) their Sustainer, and establish prayer, and conduct their affairs between each other through consultation…’ 

This verse reminds us that the practice of consultation (shura) is a defining mark of the believers. Applying this principle in your parenting is a beautiful reflection of your Islamic values. 

Helping One Another in Goodness 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2586, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believers in their mutual kindness, compassion and sympathy are just like one body. When one of the limbs suffers, the whole body responds to it with wakefulness and fever.’ 

This hadith teaches that helping each other as parents and using our differences for the benefit of our family is a reflection of the unity of the believers. When parents are able to develop habits of consultation, support, and appreciation, their teamwork becomes a reflection of their faith. Their children can then grow up seeing not division, but a beautiful harmony, learning from their example that the differences within a family can serve to enrich, rather than to weaken, their love.