What do I do if my child gets left out at parties? 

Parenting Perspective 

Prepare Your Child Beforehand 

Few things are more painful than seeing your child feel left out at a party. Children with shy personalities, SEN needs, or social anxiety often struggle to join in naturally. You can help by preparing them ahead of time. Talk about what to expect: the games, the noise, and what they can do if they begin to feel alone. Practise small phrases they can use to ask to join in, such as, ‘Can I play too?’ or ‘May I have a turn next?’ 

Offer a Calm Presence 

If possible, arrive early so your child has time to settle in before the crowd grows. Stay close at first, offering a reassuring presence. Look for another child they know or a friendly face to help ease that first step. Gently encourage them, but do not force interactions, as this can make shyness worse. 

Reflect and Reassure Afterwards 

After the party, talk openly about what went well and what felt hard. Avoid saying, ‘You should have tried harder.’ Instead, praise their small wins: ‘I saw you played that game for a while, that was brave.’ Remind them that feeling left out sometimes does not mean they are not good enough. Not every child will become a close friend, and that is okay. 

Nurture Friendships in Safer Settings 

Keep your child’s confidence strong by creating other opportunities to build friendships in smaller, safer settings. Inviting one child over for a short playdate or meeting at the park can feel less overwhelming than large gatherings. When your child sees you are patient and supportive, they learn that being left out is not the end; it is simply part of learning to connect with others. 

Spiritual Insight 

Feeling left out can plant seeds of sadness in a child’s heart, but Islam teaches us to comfort those who feel alone and to remind them that Allah Almighty never leaves anyone behind. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Ad Duha (93), Verse 3: 

‘Your Lord has not forsaken you, nor has He become displeased. ‘

This beautiful Ayah is a powerful reminder that even when people turn away, Allah Almighty’s love and mercy remain constant. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ showed immense compassion to those who felt isolated. He would include people gently, notice who was quiet, and help them feel seen. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1828, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people.‘

This Hadith Shareef encourages us to teach our children to show kindness, and to trust that their worth is not defined by being included in every game or group. 

Make Dua with your child: ‘O Allah Almighty, help me find friends who care for me and make me feel welcome.’ Teach them that being left out can be an opportunity to find better, more sincere friends who appreciate them more deeply. Remind them that true belonging comes first with Allah Almighty, and then with loving friendships that grow in His light.