Parenting Perspective 

A peaceful mealtime can be quickly derailed when sibling bickering begins. Arguments over portion sizes, incessant teasing, or constant interruptions not only stall the meal but also damage the warm atmosphere of the home. It is natural to feel irritated by this, but your response is what will teach your children whether the dinner table is a battleground or a place of connection. 

Setting Clear Mealtime Expectations 

Before you even sit down to eat, you can gently remind your children of the purpose of the meal. This simple act frames mealtime as a shared family experience, not a competition. 

• ‘Mealtimes in our family are for eating our food and sharing with kind words.’ 

• ‘If you have a problem with your brother or sister, please use a respectful voice, not a fighting one.’ 

Intervening Calmly, Not Harshly 

When the bickering inevitably starts, avoid the temptation to yell across the table. Instead, use a steady and clear tone of voice. This display of calm authority clearly communicates that bickering at the table has firm boundaries. 

• ‘I can hear arguing. If it continues, we will need to pause the meal until calm returns.’ 

• ‘Remember, showing respect for one another is part of enjoying a meal together.’ 

Giving Simple Alternatives to Conflict 

Children often bicker out of boredom or a sense of competition. One of the best ways to counter this is to redirect their energy towards cooperation and connection. 

• Assign small, helpful mealtime roles, such as allowing one child to pour the water and another to hand out the napkins. 

• Use light, inclusive conversation starters: ‘Let us go around the table and everyone can share one good thing that happened in their day.’ 

Following Through on Consequences Consistently 

If the bickering continues to the point that it stalls the meal, you must be prepared to follow through on a calm and logical consequence. You can then return to the meal once a sense of calm has been restored. 

• Pause the meal for a brief, timed period (e.g., one minute of silence). 

• If necessary, have one child move to a different seat to create some space. 

• Child 1: ‘You got more rice than me!’ Child 2: ‘No, I did not!’ Parent: (Calmly) ‘I hear both of your voices. We are going to pause eating for one minute. Meals are for kindness. We will continue when our voices are calm.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Mealtimes are intended to be more than just opportunities for eating; they are moments for family bonding and for expressing gratitude to Allah. Islam encourages us to maintain peace and harmony, especially when gathered to share the blessings of food. 

Gratitude and Harmony 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verses 114: 

‘So eat from that sustenance provided to you by Allah (Almighty), that which is lawful and absolutely pure; and be grateful for the bestowments of Allah (Almighty), if it is the case that you seek to exclusively worship Him.‘ 

This verse is a direct command to be grateful for our provisions, an act which should naturally lead to harmony, not quarrels. 

The Prophet ﷺ on Brotherhood 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 235, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not envy one another, do not inflate prices against one another, do not hate one another, do not turn away from one another, and do not undercut one another, but be servants of Allah as brothers.’ 

This beautiful hadith lays out a code of conduct for believers, teaching us that rivalry and animosity should be replaced with a spirit of brotherhood, kindness, and mutual respect. 

By calmly holding boundaries and gently reminding your children of the importance of gratitude, you can transform the dinner table from a place of conflict into one of patience and mercy. Over time, your children will learn that family meals are for sharing blessings with respect, not for fighting.