We do not insult each other, but we use dismissive language like, ‘Whatever’ or ‘Leave it’. Can this become a model of emotional shutdown? 

Parenting Perspective 

Yes, absolutely. Even without direct insults, the consistent use of dismissive phrases like, “Whatever,” or, “Just leave it,” can model a pattern of emotional shutdown for your child. While these remarks may seem mild, they often communicate an unwillingness to engage or resolve a difficult feeling. Over time, a child who repeatedly witnesses this learns that tension is not something to be worked through, but something to be brushed aside. They can easily come to believe that the appropriate response to relational difficulty is withdrawal, not discussion. This can create a blueprint for their own future relationships, where they either imitate this emotional closure by shutting down when overwhelmed, or they become deeply unsettled by conflict, fearing that their emotions are an inconvenience. 

What your child might internalise 

Children absorb emotional cues far more than they do literal words. A cold, “Whatever,” teaches them that discomfort is something to be escaped, not explored. This style of communication fails to give them the tools for problem-solving or compassionate listening. To begin shifting this pattern, you can start replacing dismissive language with small bridges of connection. Try using phrases like, “This feels difficult to talk about right now, but I would like to try again soon,” or, “Let us pause on this, but not ignore it.” These kinds of statements signal to your child that difficult conversations can be handled safely and are a normal part of human relationships, not something to be avoided with a sigh. 

Spiritual Insight 

In the Islamic tradition, we are taught to show up for one another emotionally, especially in moments of friction. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ never responded to tension with dismissal. He listened, he engaged, and he offered his calm presence. Even when a topic was difficult, he never emotionally closed the door on the other person. His example of rahmah (mercy) included staying present when others needed to feel heard, not pushing them away with a phrase designed to end the conversation. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 159: 

‘….And if you had been harsh (in your speech) or restrained in your heart, they would have dispersed from around you; so then pardon them, and ask for their forgiveness (from Allah Almighty); and consult them in all matters (of public administration)…. ‘

This verse, addressed to the Prophet ﷺ, reflects the magnetic power of emotional presence and softness. It teaches us that even the highest form of leadership in Islam is built not on detachment, but on mutual respect and engagement. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2319a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who does not show mercy to others will not be shown mercy. ‘

This mercy begins with how we communicate, not just in grand speeches, but in the small exchanges of everyday life. Choosing not to dismiss another person, even when you are tired or overwhelmed, is a profound form of mercy in action. So yes, a pattern of dismissiveness, however subtle, can certainly shape your child’s emotional coping style. The moment you begin to replace that shutdown with gentle re-engagement, you are doing more than just modelling better communication. You are teaching your child that healthy relationships, much like faith, require sincerity, humility, and the courage to remain open, even when it feels easier to walk away.