My child once asked, ‘Do you even love each other?’ because we rarely show it outward. How should we respond, and what does that question reflect? 

Parenting Perspective 

A Mirror to Your Relationship 

When a child poses a question as direct and emotionally charged as “Do you even love each other?” it should not be dismissed as a casual remark. This type of question is like a mirror, reflecting not just what people see but also what they do not see. Children continuously interpret the emotional environment of their family. Even if the family is functional and pleasant, a child may come to doubt the presence of love if warmth, sensitivity, or shared joy are rarely demonstrated. 

Responding with Reassurance and Action 

The idea is to answer with gentle candour and certainty. A helpful response can sound like this: Yes, we love each other very much. Adults can be busy or silent at times, but love is not always loud. We shall strive to demonstrate it in more ways that you can feel. This validates the child’s emotional perception while comforting them that the family’s base is still solid. Their query is not a problem; rather, it represents an opportunity. It invites you to consider what emotional clues your child is missing. Children understand love through physical expressions like shared laughter, nice gestures, verbal affirmations, or even simple acts of togetherness. If these are not evident, even if the connection is stable, children may interpret quiet as emotional distance. This is not about displaying affection, but about expressing love in visible, relational terms. Small changes, such as greeting each other warmly, expressing gratitude openly, sitting closer together at meals, or smiling more consciously, might help a child internalise love as something living and safe. When children feel emotionally connected to their parents, they bring that sense of stability into their own relationships. 

Spiritual Insight 

In the views of Islam, affection between spouses is not something to hide from children; rather, it is a manifestation of divine mercy inside the family. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you loving tolerance and kindness; indeed, in this there are Signs (of the infinite truth) for the nations that have realisation.’ 

This verse describes not only marriage structure, but also an emotional environment based on attachment (mawaddah) and mercy (rahmah). These are not supposed to be abstract; they are meant to be felt, particularly by the children who grow up under their shadow. It is also recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 3895, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, 

‘The best of you is the best to his wives, and I am the best of you to my wives ‘

Being ‘best’ encapsulates all aspects of a relationship that involves the expression of love, care, and playfulness with dignity and respect. When you answer your child’s inquiry truthfully and begin to embody love in ways they can recognise, you are not only correcting a misunderstanding; you are rebuilding trust in the emotional underpinnings of their universe. That is not simply healthy parenting. It represents prophetic caring in action.