My child laughs when another child gets hurt or refuses to apologise. What is the right way to correct this immediately? 

Parenting Perspective 

It can be deeply unsettling when a child laughs at another’s pain or refuses to apologise, as it can seem like a profound lack of empathy. In most cases, however, this reaction stems from emotional immaturity rather than genuine cruelty. Children are still developing their moral awareness and self-control. Laughter can be a nervous response to a situation they do not understand, while refusing to apologise is often rooted in shame, pride, or a simple failure to grasp the impact of their actions. 

Understanding the Reaction 

The key is to avoid overreacting with public shaming or harshness, as this can entrench a child’s defensiveness. Instead, your intervention should be calm, firm, and instructive. 

Intervening Calmly and Clearly 

Immediately and quietly state the boundary: ‘Someone is hurt. This is not a time for laughing’. If necessary, remove your child from the situation to address the behaviour privately. State the expectation without anger: ‘When someone is hurt, our first job is to make sure they are okay. Laughing is not an acceptable response’. Then, provide a concrete next step: ‘You need to go and check on them now’. 

If they refuse to offer an apology, do not force them to say words they do not mean. Instead, enforce a natural consequence: ‘It seems you are not ready to apologise yet. You can sit with me until you are calm and ready to make things right’. It is crucial to model the empathy you want to see. Let your child witness you comforting the other child with kind and emotionally intelligent words: ‘That must have really hurt. Are you alright?’. This shows them exactly what a compassionate response looks like in practice. 

Teaching Empathy 

Later, when emotions have settled, revisit the incident: ‘What do you think happened earlier? How do you think that person felt when they were hurt and you laughed?’. This approach helps your child develop the capacity for self-reflection and an internal moral compass, which is far more valuable than correction through punishment alone. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a profound emphasis on compassion and emotional responsibility. To laugh at another’s pain or to refuse to make amends for harm caused violates the core principles of good manners (Adab) and mercy (Rahmah) that a believer must strive to embody. 

The Prophetic Model of Compassion 

This verse describes the deep empathy of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. He did not just correct wrongdoing; he felt the pain of his community and was gentle with them. This is the standard for our own interactions. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah At Tawbah (9), Verse 128: 

‘There has certainly come to you a Messenger from among yourselves. Grievous to him is what you suffer; [he is] concerned over you and to the believers is kind and merciful. ‘

Empathy as a Condition of Faith 

This famous Hadith establishes empathy as a cornerstone of Islamic character. True faith is incomplete without the ability to feel for others and to consider how our actions affect them. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2515, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you will have faith until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself. ‘

By responding to your child’s lack of empathy with clear instruction and your own compassionate example, you are not merely correcting a behaviour. You are actively nurturing the emotional and spiritual qualities that form a person of integrity, kindness, and true faith.