Parenting Perspective 

When you notice your child mindlessly scrolling on a device in the same way you do, it often serves as an uncomfortable moment of self-reflection. It is natural for children to mimic the daily habits of their parents, but seeing a behaviour you are not proud of reflected in them can be unsettling. The only way to address this without hypocrisy is with sincerity and consistency, ensuring your actions align perfectly with your words. This is an opportunity to model a healthier, more intentional relationship with technology for the entire family. 

Acknowledge the Influence and Set Boundaries 

The first step requires honest self-assessment. Your children learn what is normal from observing you, and your behaviour speaks far louder than any lecture on screen time. 

• Acknowledge Your Role: You must first recognise that your phone habits have been directly imitated. Reflect on the amount of time you spend scrolling and consider its impact. This self-awareness is not about guilt; it is about taking responsibility as the household’s primary role model for digital habits. 

• Set Clear Boundaries: Establish firm and predictable rules around screen use. Designate specific phone-free times, such as during meals and the hour before bedtime. These boundaries demonstrate that technology is a tool to be used purposefully, not as a constant and mindless distraction. 

Lead by Example and Make Practical Adjustments 

To avoid hypocrisy, you must practise what you preach. Modelling a healthy balance is the most effective way to teach it. 

• Model Healthy Phone Usage: Consciously reduce your own screen time, especially in front of your child. Make a visible point of choosing non-digital activities that encourage connection, such as reading, walking, or simply talking. Your child will see that a rich and enjoyable life exists beyond the screen. 

• Be Transparent About Your ‘Why’: Explain the reasons for these new limits in an age-appropriate manner. You could say that you want to be more present with the family or that too much screen time is not good for our minds. This helps your child see the change as a positive family goal rather than a punishment. 

• Create Phone-Free Zones: Designate certain areas of the home, such as the dining room or bedrooms, as screen-free spaces. Consistently enforcing these zones establishes a clear and healthy separation between digital life and family life. 

Encourage Balanced Habits and Offer Alternatives 

Restricting screen time is only half the battle; you must also provide appealing alternatives. 

• Introduce Enriching Activities: Fill the newly created screen-free time with engaging and meaningful pursuits. Reintroduce creative hobbies, outdoor play, or family board games. This helps shift their focus and shows them what they gain, not just what they lose. 

• Involve Your Child in Setting Limits: Where appropriate, include your child in the process of setting reasonable screen time limits. This fosters a sense of ownership and responsibility, making them more likely to adhere to the rules. 

Patience and Consistency 

Changing ingrained habits takes time. Be patient with yourself and your child as you adjust. The more consistently you model and reinforce these new habits, the more naturally your child will adopt a balanced and mindful relationship with technology. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that moderation and the wise use of our time are fundamental aspects of a believer’s life. Wasting time on frivolous distractions is contrary to the spirit of our faith. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Aa’raaf (7), Verse 31: 

‘…And eat and drink and do not be extravagant (wasteful), as indeed, He (Allah Almighty) does not like extravagance.’ 

While this verse refers to food and drink, the principle of avoiding excess (israf) applies to all areas of life, including our consumption of media and technology. Moderation in our digital habits is a reflection of a disciplined and spiritually aware lifestyle. 

Our time on this earth is a precious trust from Allah, and we will be asked how we spent it. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2333, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Take advantage of five before five: your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before your busy time, and your life before your death.’ 

This powerful hadith urges us to be intentional with our time. Mindless scrolling is the opposite of taking advantage of our free time. By modelling a purposeful use of our hours for family, worship, and personal growth we teach our children to value their time as the precious gift it is.