My child asks why only one parent goes to the mosque or leads Salah. How do we respond without creating doubt or disappointment? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child observes different levels of religious practice between their parents, it is important to address their questions with honesty and unity to avoid creating confusion. The goal is to frame faith as a personal journey that everyone navigates at their own pace. 

Frame Faith as a Personal Journey 

Explain to your child that every person’s connection with Allah is unique. You can say, ‘Everyone is on their own special journey with their prayers. The most important thing is that we are all trying our best to be close to Allah’. This teaches them that sincere effort is what matters, not perfection or comparison. 

Create Moments of Shared Spiritual Unity 

Even if one parent is less consistent with formal prayers, you can create other rituals where you act as a spiritual team. This could be making a heartfelt dua together before bed, sharing a story about the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, or listening to the Quran in the car. These shared moments show your child that you are united in your love for Allah. 

Acknowledge and Celebrate Small Steps 

When the less consistent parent does join in a prayer or a spiritual activity, acknowledge it positively but subtly. The more consistent parent can later say to the child, ‘It felt so peaceful when we all prayed together today, Alhamdulillah’. This reinforces the value of the act without putting undue pressure on anyone. 

By focusing on unity in your core beliefs, you teach your child that while individual practices may vary, your family’s commitment to Allah is a shared and constant foundation. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam values sincere intention and recognises that every individual’s spiritual growth occurs at a different pace. The foundation of a faithful home is mutual encouragement, not judgment. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujurat (49), Verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you…‘ 

This verse reminds us that the true measure of a person’s worth is their inner righteousness (taqwa), which is known only to Allah. It teaches us to avoid comparing the outward practice of one person to another, as each individual has their own unique journey of faith. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught the principle of gentle and early instruction. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, 495, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Command your children to pray when they become seven years old…‘ 

This hadith highlights the importance of consistent encouragement and building habits over time, rather than expecting immediate perfection. This principle of gentle persistence applies not only to children but to all members of a family, as everyone is in a continuous process of learning and growing in their faith.