How to Make Real Amends with Your Child After Overreacting 

Parenting Perspective 

It is a very human struggle to feel regret after overreacting with a child. While an apology is an important step, repairing the relationship often requires more than words. Children need to see consistency in both your acknowledgement of mistakes and your effort to respond differently in the future. 

When you apologise, keep your words simple and specific: ‘I am sorry I raised my voice; I should have spoken more calmly.’ This shows your child that you take responsibility without shifting the blame onto them. It reassures them that you recognise what went wrong. 

Real Amends Come Through Follow-Up 

Making real amends comes through follow-up. That means demonstrating, over time, that you are working on regulating your own responses. A child will gradually feel safe again when they see a parent practising self-control, even in difficult moments. You may not achieve perfection, but the steady effort itself builds trust. 

Another important step is to restore warmth after conflict. Once the situation has settled, intentionally reconnect with your child through affection, shared activity, or conversation. This signals that the relationship is not defined by the outburst but by the ongoing bond you are committed to. 

A parent who both apologises and takes steps to act differently teaches a child two powerful lessons: that mistakes can be owned with humility, and that change is possible through effort. This combination helps repair not only the immediate hurt but also strengthens the foundation of trust between you and your child. 

Spiritual Insight 

Repairing relationships after mistakes is central to Islamic teaching. Allah Almighty emphasises that believers are not defined by never slipping, but by turning back with sincerity and striving to improve. 

A Reminder That What Matters is Not Persisting in a Mistake 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), verse 135: 

‘And when those people who have committed immoral actions, or wronged themselves; (they should) remember Allah (Almighty), and then ask for forgiveness for their sins.…and do not intentionally continue to persist on what (wrong) you have done.’ 

This Verse highlights that what matters is not the absence of mistakes but the willingness to seek forgiveness and avoid repeating them. A parent who apologises and then works to change is embodying this very principle within family life. 

The Prophetic Model: True Strength is Self-Control 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong man is not the one who overcomes others, but the strong man is the one who controls himself when he is angry.’ 

[Sahih al-Bukhari,78:141] 

Applying this hadith to parenting reminds us that true strength is shown not in the moment of anger, but in the ability to restrain it and choose a gentler response. Each attempt to pause before reacting becomes a form of strength in the eyes of Allah Almighty and a source of reassurance for your child. 

By combining apology with action, you demonstrate to your child that love is stronger than anger, and that repairing relationships is always possible. This creates a home where discipline and mistakes are real, but forgiveness, growth, and mercy are even more powerful.