How to Ask for Help When You Feel Like ‘The Strong One’ 

Parenting Perspective 

It is understandable to feel that being the ‘strong one’ is an essential part of your role. Yet even the strongest structures need support. When you push past exhaustion without pausing to ask for help, you not only risk burnout, but you also teach your child that strength is about silent endurance, not resilience or connection. 

Asking for Help is an Act of Wisdom 

Begin by reframing asking for help as an act of wisdom, not weakness. You might say, ‘I am feeling very tired right now. I need a moment to recharge so I can be with you fully.’ This models emotional honesty and self-care. It shows your child that vulnerability is not disqualification, it is self-awareness in action. 

Asking for Help Can Be Simple 

You do not need to collapse or dramatise in order to receive support. Asking for help can be simple and calm, reaching out to a partner, friend, or sibling with a specific need. For instance: ‘Could you handle dinner tonight? I need a short break.’ Over time, this models healthy interdependence rather than isolated strength. 

Strength Includes Knowing When to Receive 

When you allow yourself to ask, you pave the way for your child to learn that strength includes knowing when to receive. You remain responsible, but with humility and grace, that is the strongest kind of parenting. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, seeking help is not only allowed, it is wise when done with intention and limits. It reflects trust in Allah while acknowledging our natural limits. 

A Reminder That Allah Wills to Lighten Our Burdens 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), verse 28: 

‘Allah (Almighty) desires to reduce from you (the burdens of your difficulties), as man has been created with a weak disposition.’ 

This verse reminds us that recognising our need for ease is part of Allah’s wisdom. You are not failing by admitting tiredness, you are honouring your human nature. Scholars affirm that asking for help in matters people can assist with does not contradict reliance on Allah. 

The Prophetic Model: A Dignified Choice 

It is recorded in Mishkat al-Masabih that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Let him who wishes ask little and let him who wishes ask much. ‘

[Mishkat al-Masabih, 6:77] 

This teaches balance: you may seek help without being dependent. It is a dignified choice, not a burden. 

So when you ask, you are not failing, you are applying the mercy and wisdom of your Deen. You are showing your child that spiritual strength is grounded in honesty, limits, and trust, that is a legacy of true resilience.