Parenting Perspective 

Living in a joint family system brings with it both immense blessings and unique challenges. While children can benefit greatly from the closeness, shared memories, and support from multiple relatives, such a busy environment can also blur important personal and relational boundaries. A child may struggle to understand where their own space ends and another’s begins, or which set of instructions they should prioritise when many adults are involved. 

Confusion from Multiple Authorities 

In joint family homes, children often receive directions from their parents, grandparents, uncles, and aunts all at once. If these instructions are not aligned with one another, the child may feel overwhelmed, conflicted, or confused. This can weaken their ability to distinguish between helpful guidance and direct interference, leaving them unsure of how to behave. 

Limited Privacy and Personal Space 

The act of sharing rooms, personal belongings, and daily routines can make it difficult for a child to learn about the concept of personal space. Without clear and gentle teaching on this matter, they may grow accustomed to either overstepping the boundaries of others or feeling that their own boundaries are not being respected. 

Emotional Stress and Pressure to Obey 

A child may feel torn between respecting their elders and staying loyal to the specific rules their parents have set. 

• They may also feel a sense of guilt or anxiety if they feel they cannot meet everyone’s expectations at the same time. 

• Over time, this pressure can erode their confidence and may lead to them developing people-pleasing behaviours. 

Supporting Boundaries Within the Home 

Parents can help their child navigate this complexity by teaching and maintaining clear and consistent boundaries. This can include: 

• Teaching them to respect the belongings and privacy of others. 

• Reminding them to follow their parents’ instructions first, even when many other voices are present. 

• Having family discussions to calmly explain the household rules in order to avoid public clashes or confusion. 

These simple steps can allow a child to benefit from all the blessings of joint family life, while still understanding where their sense of safety and clarity comes from. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours the extended family system and recognises the barakah (blessing) of living together, while also teaching the importance of justice, respect, and clear rights within all relationships. Children who are raised in joint families must be taught about healthy boundaries as a part of their tarbiyah (upbringing). 

 Respecting Privacy and Personal Space 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah An Nur (24), Verses 27–28: 

‘O you who believe! Do not enter houses other than your own houses until you have asked permission and greeted their inhabitants. That is better for you, that you may remember. And if you do not find anyone therein, do not enter them until permission has been given to you…’ 

This reminds us that even within family circles, Islam emphasises asking permission and maintaining privacy. Teaching a child to knock before entering a room, to ask before borrowing something, or to respect when someone needs quiet time reflects this Quranic principle in action. 

Clarity in Leadership 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 893, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects.’ 

This Hadith teaches that while many relatives may help to guide a child, it is the parents who remain the primary shepherds and hold the primary responsibility for their upbringing. 

By modelling a deep respect for their relatives while also upholding their own consistent household rules, parents can show their child that setting boundaries does not weaken love, but actually protects it. This balanced approach helps the child to grow up with a sense of emotional clarity, resilience, and a deep appreciation of a family life that is rooted in core Islamic values.