Parenting Perspective 

Teaching siblings to forgive each other while maintaining accountability is a crucial skill that will serve them well throughout their lives. As a parent, you may find yourself balancing between fostering emotional reconciliation and ensuring your children understand the importance of responsibility. This process begins with validating their feelings, as hurt and frustration are common in sibling conflicts. 

Acknowledge Emotions 

The first step is recognising the emotional depth of the situation. Before addressing the need for forgiveness, allow each child to express their feelings of hurt or frustration. 

• Why it works: Validating their emotions makes them feel understood, which is the foundation for moving forward in a healthy way. Ensure that the sibling who caused harm listens attentively, creating a compassionate environment where both can heal. 

Explain the Concept of Forgiveness 

Next, explain that forgiveness is not about forgetting or excusing bad behaviour, but rather a conscious decision to release anger for the sake of emotional peace. 

• How to explain: Use age-appropriate language such as, ‘Forgiving means we let go of our anger, but it does not mean we ignore what happened. It helps us heal so we can be happy again.’ This will encourage a sense of emotional maturity. 

Accountability is Key 

While forgiveness is important, it is equally crucial to help your children understand that being accountable for their actions is what builds trust and respect. 

• Why it matters: Explain that taking responsibility for their mistakes does not diminish their worth; in fact, it strengthens their character. Teach them that forgiveness is only meaningful when it is paired with sincere efforts to improve. 

Create a Conflict Resolution Ritual 

Establishing a regular family ritual for resolving conflicts can also help. Encourage your children to apologise and express their feelings openly after every conflict. 

• What to do: A simple practice like saying ‘I forgive you’ or ‘I am sorry’ followed by a hug can help reaffirm the act of healing. By turning conflict resolution into a habit, you normalise the process of forgiveness and accountability. 

By creating a safe space for your children to forgive and be accountable, you are equipping them with the skills needed to maintain strong, respectful relationships. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Capacity for Forgiveness and Accountability 

The noble Quran reminds us that forgiveness and accountability are both within our capacity. Allah Almighty has equipped us with the strength to deal with both emotional and moral challenges. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘ Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity…’ 

As parents, we can help our children realise that both forgiving and holding themselves accountable are achievable with Allah’s guidance. 

The Foundation of Empathy and Mutual Respect 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ tell us that empathy and mutual respect are at the core of strong relationships. In the context of siblings, this highlights the importance of forgiving one another and seeking the best for each other. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 13, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself.’ 

When siblings truly care for each other, they will naturally seek to forgive, understanding that healing and harmony are essential. Through these steps, you are guiding your children to embrace the Islamic principles of forgiveness and accountability, which will foster both spiritual and emotional maturity.