How do I teach my child to manage anger and frustration at home? 

Parenting Perspective 

Naming the Feeling and Setting a Calm Example 

It is normal for a child to feel angry or frustrated, especially when they believe they have not been understood, or things do not go their way. Teaching your child how to handle these feelings calmly begins with your own example. Never ignore your child’s anger or speak over them with a loud voice. Instead, name the feeling gently. You could say, ‘I can see you are angry because that did not work out.’ 

Providing Simple Tools to Practise 

Give them simple tools they can practise using. Deep breathing, counting slowly, or stepping outside for a few minutes can help calm big feelings. Younger children often find it helpful to press a pillow or draw their emotions on paper. Praise your child when they use these techniques, even if they manage it only for a short while. This shows them that you notice and appreciate their effort. 

Creating Clear House Rules 

Create clear house rules. Let them know it is fine to feel angry, but it is not okay to hurt others or use unkind words. Over time, your child will learn that frustration does not have to take over. They can pause, look at the situation, and choose a kinder response. This builds emotional strength and helps them grow into someone who can manage feelings with calmness and care. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam recognises that anger is part of our human nature but teaches us to control it for our own good. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘Those who restrain anger and who pardon the people, and Allah loves the doers of good. ‘

This Ayah shows that controlling anger brings us closer to Allah Almighty’s love. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2609a, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the strong person is the one who controls himself when angry. ‘

Share this with your child in simple words so they understand that managing anger is true strength, not weakness. Teach them a short Dua to say when they feel anger rising: O Allah, help me calm my heart. Remind them that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught us to sit down or make Wudu when angry, these small actions help cool the fire inside. Keep calm reminders around the house: a note on the fridge or near their study space with an Ayah or Hadith about patience. Make it a family habit to talk about emotions at the end of the day, what went well, what was hard, and what can be done better next time. Over time, your child will learn that while anger visits every heart, a believer responds with Sabr, calm words, and hope in Allah Almighty’s reward, InshaAllah.