Parenting Perspective 

Disagreements about parenting can often stir up feelings of pride, the natural human desire to be ‘right’ or to prove that your own way is the best. While this feeling can be natural, if it is allowed to take over, it will prevent any healthy compromise and can make parenting feel like a competition, rather than like teamwork. Over time, this tension can create a sense of division and confusion for your child. The key is to consciously shift your focus away from defending your own ego and towards protecting your child’s emotional and spiritual well-being. 

Recognise Pride as a Barrier to Connection 

The first and most important step is developing your self-awareness. In a moment of disagreement, you can ask yourself, ‘Am I trying to protect my child right now, or am I just trying to protect my own pride?’ Simply naming pride as the obstacle in your own mind can help you to loosen its grip on you. 

Reframe Compromise as a Strength 

The act of compromise does not mean that you are losing the argument; it means that you are helping to create a solution that strengthens your entire family. You can remind yourself, ‘By yielding on this point, I am not being weaker; I am being wiser by choosing the path of unity.’ 

Practise the Art of Humble Listening 

Make a habit of allowing your spouse to finish their point without interruption, especially when you disagree. Taking a moment to reflect back what you have heard them say shows a deep level of respect and makes it much easier to reach a compromise. 

Keep Your Child at the Centre of the Discussion 

Before you find yourself insisting on your own way, you can ask, ‘Which of these choices will ultimately make our child feel the most safe and guided?’ Redirecting the focus back to your child in this way helps to shrink the pull of your own ego. 

Choose Unity Over Winning 

You can make a conscious habit of using phrases like, ‘Let us decide on this together,’ or, ‘What do you think would work best for our child?’ This kind of language helps to break down the walls of pride and build a sense of true partnership. 

When you are able to quieten your pride, you help to create an atmosphere of humility, patience, and love. Your child will then grow up witnessing parents who prioritise the harmony of their family over the need to prove themselves right. 

Spiritual Insight 

Humility as an Islamic Virtue 

In Islam, pride (kibr) is a quality that we are strongly warned against, while humility and the willingness to compromise are highly praised. Pride has the power to divide hearts, but humility is what allows the mercy of Allah to flow into a home. 

The Quranic Warning Against Pride 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verses 18: 

‘And do not turn your cheek from people (in pride and contempt), and do not walk on the Earth in self-glory; indeed, Allah (Almighty) does not love those (people who believe in) self-aggrandizement and boasting.’ 

This verse reminds us that arrogance is a quality that can destroy our relationships, while humility is what earns the pleasure of Allah. 

Prophetic Guidance on Humility Bringing Elevation 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2588, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘No one humbles himself for the sake of Allah except that Allah raises him in rank.’ 

This hadith teaches us that making a compromise out of a sense of humility is not a loss of status, but is in fact a means of gaining a higher honour in the sight of Allah. By lowering our pride and actively practising humility, we can show our children that true strength is found not in stubbornness, but in mercy and wisdom. They will grow up learning that true leadership within a family is built on humility, cooperation, and a heart that is always open to guidance.