Parenting Perspective 

Children who come from a mixed-heritage background can sometimes feel as though they are being pulled in two different directions, leaving them to wonder whether they truly belong to either side. If they are not guided through this with care, it can create a sense of identity conflict, self-doubt, or may even lead to them rejecting one part of their background. As a parent, you can help to protect them from this by making both of their heritages a source of pride, while at the same time anchoring their ultimate identity in their faith. 

Affirm Both Identities Equally 

You can use simple, affirming phrases such as, ‘You are so blessed to be able to carry both Mummy’s heritage and Daddy’s heritage. That is what makes you so unique and special.’ This kind of reassurance helps to reduce any feeling they might have of needing to ‘choose’ a side. 

Celebrate Both Cultures in Your Daily Life 

Try to include both of your cultures in your daily family life, whether it is through the food that you cook, the stories you share, the clothes that you wear, or the languages that you speak. When a child can see both sides of their background being respected and celebrated at home, they will feel balanced rather than conflicted. 

Avoid and Correct Negative Comparisons 

It is important to never allow mocking or belittling comments to be made about either of your heritages. If other people make such remarks in front of your child, you can gently correct them and reinforce the message that both sides of their family are valuable. 

Anchor Their Ultimate Identity in Islam 

Keep reminding your child, ‘Our family cultures may be different in some ways, but the thing that truly defines us is that we are all Muslims.’ Shared family practices like Salah, Quran recitation, and fasting can give them a firm and unifying centre that harmonises both of their heritages. 

Provide Them with Diverse Role Models 

Share stories of important and respected Muslim figures from diverse backgrounds throughout history. This helps to show your child that the global Muslim community has always embraced a rich and beautiful diversity. 

By consistently affirming, balancing, and anchoring their identity in this way, you can help to shield your child from the pain of identity conflict. Instead, they can grow up feeling enriched by both of their heritages, and secure in their shared Islamic foundation. 

Spiritual Insight 

Equality and Honour Through Taqwa 

Islam teaches that all people are equal in the sight of Allah, and that our true honour comes only from our taqwa (piety). A child of mixed heritage should be taught from a young age that their worth is not tied to their ethnicity, but to their righteousness. 

Unity Through an Appreciation of Diversity 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verses 22: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created the layers of trans-universal existence and the Earth; and (designed) diversity of your languages and your (skin) colours; indeed, in this there are (logical and rational) Signs for those who are imbued with knowledge.’ 

This verse reminds us that the diversity that exists between people is in itself a sign of the wisdom of Allah and is not intended to be a cause for conflict. 

The True Measure of a Person’s Honour 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Indeed, Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but He looks at your hearts and your deeds.’ 

This hadith teaches that an identity which is rooted in piety and good deeds is the only true measure of a person’s worth in Islam. By teaching your mixed-heritage child that their different cultures are a blessing, but that their faith is their ultimate foundation, you can protect them from the pain of inner conflict. They can then grow up with a sense of confidence, pride, and gratitude, knowing that Allah created them with wisdom, and that their truest identity lies in being a servant of Him.