How do I praise my child’s effort without creating arrogance? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Importance of ‘Wise Praise’ 

Praising your child is important because it helps them feel valued and motivated to keep trying. Some parents worry that too much praise will make a child show off or become dependent on hearing they are always doing well. The answer is wise praise. Your child needs to hear praise not only for the final outcome but also for effort, patience and problem-solving along the way. 

Praising Process Over Perfection 

It is not wrong to say your child is clever but try to focus more on how they worked towards something. Instead of saying, ‘You are so smart,’ you might say, ‘I love how much effort you put into this,’ or ‘You did not give up when it was difficult. That was very brave.’ This teaches your child that success comes through trying and believing in the process, not from feeling better than others. 

Being Specific and Fostering Gratitude 

Make your praise specific so it truly means something. If they show kindness to a sibling or help you without being asked, mention it. This helps shift their sense of pride towards gratitude and humility. Over time, your child will come to see that real confidence is not loud or boastful but rooted in hard work, good intentions and quiet trust in Allah Almighty. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that any success is ultimately a gift from Allah Almighty and acknowledging this keeps pride in check. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah An Najm (53), Verse 39: 

‘And that there is not for man except that [good] for which he strives. ‘

This reminds us that our effort matters greatly, but it is Allah Almighty who grants true results. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3435, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘No one will enter Paradise by his deeds alone. ‘

Even our best deeds need Allah Almighty’s mercy. Teach your child to say Alhamdulillah after completing a task well, this gentle habit roots their success in gratitude, not self-importance. Make small Duas together: ‘O Allah, accept my efforts and protect my heart from pride.’ Remind them that showing off can empty even good deeds of reward, while humility preserves Barakah. Share stories from the life of holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, who, despite being the best of creation, always stayed humble and grateful. By praising effort while pointing hearts back to Allah Almighty, you help your child grow into someone who works hard with Sabr and Tawakkul and carries a quiet confidence that lifts others up rather than boasting. This is the type of character that pleases Allah Almighty and keeps success rooted in sincerity, InshaAllah.