Parenting Perspective 

When trust is broken in a parent-child relationship, it is natural to feel a deep sense of concern. Parents often put tremendous effort into mending the bond, working tirelessly to restore the emotional connection. However, there are times when, despite the best intentions, progress feels stagnant. Recognising when your child’s needs go beyond your own resources can be an essential step in the healing process. 

Asking for external support does not mean you have failed as a parent. It means recognising that every family needs help at times, and professional intervention can offer the guidance required to rebuild trust more effectively. Sometimes, a neutral, experienced perspective can provide clarity and new strategies. This support can come from therapists, trusted mentors, or community groups. The decision to seek help is a proactive step towards healing, not just for you, but for your child as well. 

Signs It’s Time to Seek Support 

There are several signs that indicate external support may be necessary: 

• Persistent Emotional Withdrawal: If your child continues to withdraw emotionally despite your ongoing efforts, this could suggest unresolved emotional pain that a professional can help to uncover. 

• Communication Breakdown: If even simple conversations lead to frustration or conflict, this could be a sign of a deeper emotional rift. A counsellor can offer techniques to improve communication. 

• Repetitive Trust Violations: If the same trust-related issue continually resurfaces, professional attention may be needed to identify the root causes and find long-term solutions. 

• Escalating Behavioural Issues: If your child’s behaviour becomes more defiant or angry, this can often be a reaction to broken trust. Professional support can help address these behaviours by getting to the root cause. 

• Stagnation in Progress: When you feel stuck and unable to move forward, external support can provide the necessary tools and guidance to break through this barrier. 

Seeking Support with Compassion 

When the time comes to seek help, it is important to approach it with care and compassion. Children, especially older ones, may feel uncomfortable with the idea of therapy. Framing it as a helpful, collaborative effort can reduce resistance. 

‘I think we have tried many ways to move forward, but I believe talking to someone who can help us with new tools could be beneficial. It is a positive step, and I will be there with you every step of the way.’ 

This approach shows your child that seeking support is a team effort, not a punishment, and that it is a natural part of the healing process. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Promise of Ease After Hardship 

The noble Quran reminds us that every hardship, no matter how difficult, is followed by ease. Rebuilding trust can be a challenging process, but Allah promises that relief will follow. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), Verses 5-6: 

‘Thus with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty). Indeed, with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty).’ 

Seeking external support can be part of that ease, providing the guidance you need to move forward. Trusting in Allah’s wisdom allows parents to navigate these struggles with patience. 

Trials as an Opportunity for Growth 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ tell us that facing difficulties, including the challenges in rebuilding trust, is not a sign of failure but an opportunity for growth. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 7095, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘If Allah wants good for someone, He afflicts him with trials.’ 

In the process of seeking help, you are not only working toward rebuilding trust but also growing in patience, empathy, and wisdom. The Prophet ﷺ exemplifies the strength found in perseverance during trials, teaching us that seeking support is part of a larger process of personal and relational growth. Asking for help is an act of wisdom and strength, demonstrating a commitment to your child’s emotional well-being and the restoration of your relationship.