Parenting Perspective 

It is a natural reaction for children to take sides when they overhear only part of a disagreement, or when another person shares a one-sided story about a parent. Their limited perspective can lead them to form judgements too quickly, often siding with the person who seemed most upset or whose version of events they heard first. Handling this situation requires a calm correction and a clear framework for how your family resolves matters. 

Reassure Them Without Oversharing 

When your child takes a side, it is important to avoid justifying every detail of the disagreement. Instead, you can offer a simple, reassuring statement like, ‘You may not have the whole story. Mum and Dad always work things out together, even if we do not agree at first’. This validates their concern while keeping adult matters private. 

Teach the Principle of Fairness 

Gently explain to them why it is not fair to form an opinion based on incomplete information. You could say, ‘If you only hear one small piece of a puzzle, you can never see the full picture. That is why in our family, we do not take sides’. You can make this concept more relatable by using small, everyday examples, such as hearing only one teammate’s complaint during a game. 

Reinforce Their Role as a Child 

It is also crucial to remind them of their role within the family. You could say, ‘Your job is not to solve our disagreements. Your job is to feel safe and to be our child. We will always take care of the rest’. This takes the pressure off them and restores their sense of security. 

Reconnect and Reassure 

After the conversation, make a point of reconnecting with them through affection. This could be a hug, a calm chat about their day, or a shared family activity. This demonstrates to your child that unity and love always return after a disagreement, preventing them from holding onto a misplaced sense of loyalty to one parent. 

By protecting your child from the burden of one-sided stories, you model fairness, consistency, and the importance of emotional safety. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a profound emphasis on justice, truth, and the importance of avoiding judgement without complete knowledge. When a child takes sides after hearing only part of a story, it contradicts these core values. Parents have a duty to nurture fairness in their children by guiding them to withhold judgement and to trust in the unity of their family. 

The Danger of Acting Without Knowledge 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 36: 

‘And do not pursue (to meddle in matters) with which you have no knowledge; indeed, your hearing (everything you heard), your sight (everything you observed), your conscience (everything you thought), in fact, all of these (your faculties) shall be called for questioning (on the Day of Judgement).‘ 

This powerful verse serves as a direct warning against forming opinions or making judgements without having full knowledge of a matter. It reminds us that we will be held accountable for what we conclude, and we must teach our children this same caution. 

The Prophetic Model of Justice 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 3582, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The judge should not decide between two people until he hears the other, just as he has heard the first.’ 

This Hadith establishes a fundamental principle of justice: one must listen fully to all sides before forming a conclusion. By teaching this to our children, we are instilling in them a prophetic model of fairness and wisdom. 

By linking your child’s reactions to the Islamic values of fairness and patience, you teach them that taking sides hastily is an act of injustice. They learn that family unity is built on trust, love, and waiting for the whole truth before making judgments.