Parenting Perspective 

When you have treated your siblings unfairly, it is essential to approach the situation with humility, sincerity, and a desire to make amends collectively. Apologising to siblings as a group shows maturity and can foster stronger family bonds. The key is to acknowledge the specific actions that caused harm, take full responsibility, and express your genuine intention to do better. A collective apology demonstrates that you value each sibling’s feelings and are committed to healing the relationships. 

Acknowledge the Harm Specifically 

A meaningful collective apology should address the specific ways you acted unfairly. Avoid making general statements and instead focus on the actions that caused hurt. This shows your siblings that you have reflected on your behaviour and truly understand how they felt. 

You could say: ‘I know I have treated you all unfairly at times, and I am truly sorry. I did not listen to your feelings and acted in ways that were hurtful.’ 

This is a clear, direct apology that acknowledges the behaviour and its emotional impact. 

Take Full Responsibility Without Excuses 

An apology is only sincere when you take complete responsibility without deflecting blame. Avoid making excuses, as this can undermine the apology. Acknowledge that your behaviour was a result of your own choices. 

You might say: ‘I realise I have been unfair, and I am sorry for the pain my actions have caused. I take full responsibility for how I treated you.’ 

This statement demonstrates accountability and maturity, reinforcing that you are committed to learning from your mistakes. 

Reaffirm Your Commitment to Change 

After acknowledging your mistakes, it is crucial to express your intention to do better in the future. This helps to rebuild trust and shows that your apology is part of a genuine effort to change. 

You can tell them: ‘I will make an effort to be more considerate and treat each of you with the fairness and respect you deserve from now on.’ 

This shows that the apology is not just a momentary gesture but a firm commitment to improving your interactions. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, seeking forgiveness and repairing relationships are highly valued actions. Apologising to others, especially when we have wronged them, is a way of upholding the core principles of justice, humility, and mercy. 

The Command for Fairness and Respect 

The noble Quran calls for fairness and respect in all our relationships, reminding us not to treat others in a way that is unjust or demeaning. Apologising for unfair treatment is a direct application of this Quranic principle. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘ Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…’ 

This verse serves as a powerful reminder to interact with others, especially our family, with the highest degree of respect. 

The Virtue of Reconciliation 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ encourage us to seek forgiveness and make amends, an act that is rewarded by Allah Almighty. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 3470, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever seeks forgiveness for his wrongdoings, Allah will forgive him. And whoever seeks to reconcile with his family or others, Allah will accept his efforts.’ 

This hadith highlights the spiritual importance of reconciliation. By apologising to your siblings and working to improve your behaviour, you are not only repairing your family bonds but also fulfilling a vital spiritual duty.