Parenting Perspective 

Children often struggle with offering apologies, especially when their emotions are running high after a conflict. Helping them to apologise effectively requires teaching them not only the correct words to use but also the attitude and understanding that should lie behind them. The goal is to cultivate empathy, accountability, and social skills without forcing shame or robotic, insincere phrasing. 

Encourage Emotional Awareness First 

Before your child apologises, it is helpful to encourage them to reflect on the situation. You can ask gently, ‘How do you think your friend felt when that happened?’ It is also important to help them to name their own feelings, whether it was frustration, regret, or embarrassment. This highlights the crucial connection between recognising feelings and taking responsibility for one’s actions. 

Teach Them a Clear, Sincere Script 

You can guide your child to structure their apology in a way that promotes sincerity. A good apology should first acknowledge the mistake (‘I realise I hurt you by…’), then express regret (‘I am really sorry that happened…’), and finally, offer a way to make amends or a commitment to do better (‘Next time, I will try to…’). It is best to keep the script short, clear, and genuine, as children learn better from clarity than from long, complicated explanations. 

Use Role-Play to Practise 

Rehearsing an apology at home can help your child to internalise the process and feel more confident. You can take turns acting as the friend, allowing your child to say the apology out loud in a safe space. Encourage them to use a natural tone of voice, to make eye contact, and to maintain calm body language. Praise their effort, focusing on their courage and honesty rather than on achieving a perfect performance. 

Reinforce the Value of Empathy 

After the apology has been given, you can discuss how the experience felt for both parties. You might ask, ‘How did it feel for you to apologise? And how do you think your friend feels now?’ This encourages them to learn from their mistakes, reinforcing the idea that sincere apologies are what help to build trust and strengthen friendships. 

By combining reflection, structure, practice, and empathy, you can teach your children to apologise in an effective and sincere way, which will promote their social skills, their emotional intelligence, and their friendships. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a great deal of emphasis on accountability, reconciliation, and the importance of maintaining harmony between people. Teaching a child how to apologise well aligns perfectly with these values, fostering humility and ethical conduct from an early age. 

Reconciliation as an Act of Faith 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’ 

This verse reminds us that making peace is a fundamental duty for believers and a means of attracting the mercy of God. 

Ensuring Others Feel Safe 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 41, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the people are safe.’ 

Encouraging children to apologise thoughtfully teaches them that maintaining their relationships and ensuring the emotional safety of others is a profound form of righteousness. Through their sincere apologies, children can grow in empathy, responsibility, and the awareness that Allah Almighty values both their actions and the care they show toward others.