How can I teach siblings to check in on each other’s feelings? 

Parenting Perspective 

Helping Them to Notice 

Teaching siblings to look out for each other’s feelings builds compassion that will strengthen their bond for life. Children often get so caught up in their own worries that they forget a brother or sister might feel sad, jealous, or left out. Begin by helping them to notice simple signs. You could say, ‘Look at your sister’s face. She seems a bit quiet today. What could we do to help her feel better?’ This gentle prompt teaches them to pay attention to each other’s moods. Praise even the smallest act of care, such as offering a toy or sitting together to talk. 

Practising and Modelling 

Practise simple phrases they can use, like, ‘Are you okay?’ or ‘Do you want to play with me?’ Younger children often learn best through stories or role-play. Use bedtime to talk about how families can be like teams that check in on each other when someone looks upset. Remind them that checking in does not mean fixing everything; it simply shows they care. Over time, these small moments help siblings feel seen and valued by each other. This habit of caring will stay with them long after childhood, helping them to handle bigger feelings and disagreements with more understanding and less resentment. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam beautifully reminds us that looking after one another is a sign of true brotherhood and sisterhood. Siblings who show concern for each other’s hearts are living this lesson in the simplest but most powerful way. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy. ‘/

This verse speaks of the wider family of believers but starts at home, with siblings checking in and settling small hurts with mercy. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2594a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Gentleness is not in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it makes it defective. ‘

When you praise your children for noticing each other’s feelings and responding with kindness, you nurture this gentleness. You can encourage a short Dua together, such as, ‘Ya Allah, help us care for each other’s hearts.’ These simple habits, repeated daily, teach your children that looking out for each other is not just good manners but an act of worship that pleases Allah Almighty and strengthens their lifelong bond.