How can I teach my children to listen to each other’s feelings properly? 

Parenting Perspective 

Start with Your Example 

It is one thing for siblings to speak up about hurt feelings but truly listening to each other is another skill altogether. Many children, when upset, want to shout their own side of the story more loudly rather than hearing the other person’s. Teaching them to listen begins with your example. When your children talk to you, show them what real listening looks like. Give them your full attention, nod, repeat back what you hear, and do not interrupt. This models the respect you want them to show each other. 

Guide Them Through Disagreements 

When they argue, sit with them calmly and guide them to take turns speaking. You might say, ‘Now it is your brother’s turn to share how he feels. Your job is to listen without speaking.’ Keep it simple. Encourage them to repeat what they heard, such as, ‘He feels sad because you took the toy.’ Praise these efforts, even if they are clumsy at first. Younger children can learn this through role-play; you can use dolls or puppets to show one listening while the other speaks. You could also introduce a “listening toy,” like a soft teddy bear that each child holds while it is their turn to talk. Remind them that listening does not mean they must agree, but that it shows care and helps small problems stay small. Over time, these gentle practices b cultivate habits of respect that can strengthen sibling bonds and reduce arguments uild habits of respect that can make sibling bonds stronger and arguments shorter. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places great value on truly hearing what another person has to say. Listening with care is part of the mercy that binds families together. Allah Almighty praises this quality when He describes the best among people. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verse 18: 

‘Those people that listen attentively to a saying and then follow what is the best (content) from it; those are the people who have been guided by Allah (Almighty); and those are the people of rational understanding. ‘

Teaching your children to listen properly to each other’s feelings is part of guiding them towards understanding and compassion. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2594a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Gentleness is not in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it makes it defective.‘

Listening gently, even when feelings run high, softens the sharp edges of arguments and turns conflict into an opportunity for learning. Encourage your children to make a simple Dua when they feel too angry to listen. They might say, ‘Ya Allah, help me hear my sister’s words with patience.’ Small reminders like this connect their actions to their faith. In this way, you are planting seeds of mercy that teach them that listening is not just good manners but an act of care that pleases Allah Almighty.