Parenting Perspective 

Teach Constructive Competition 

While some rivalry between siblings is natural, constant arguments over small things can drain the harmony from a home. The first step is to recognise that this behaviour often stems from a desire for attention or a perceived lack of fairness. Instead of only trying to stop the quarrels, a parent should focus on teaching their children constructive ways to handle competition. Simple family rules, such as, ‘We do not argue over whose turn it is; we use the timer,’ allow a neutral system to decide what is fair, reducing resentment. 

Prevent Rivalry with Structure 

It is helpful to create predictable routines for common points of conflict, such as who chooses the film to watch or who gets a particular seat in the car. By rotating these privileges, each child learns that their turn will come without having to fight for it. When an argument does flare up, it is important to pause the activity until it can be resolved respectfully, teaching them that cooperation is rewarded while conflict causes delays. 

Encourage Teamwork Over Competition 

Parents can assign tasks where success depends on cooperation, such as baking a cake or building a large puzzle together. When they work well as a team, offering specific praise like, ‘I love how you two are cooperating to get this done,’ makes the experience feel rewarding. It is also vital to value each child individually, acknowledging their feelings without comparing them to their sibling. This helps each child feel secure in their own right. 

Spiritual Insight 

Make Peace Between Your Brothers 

Islam calls on believers to rise above conflict and to actively make peace, especially between family members. Maintaining these bonds with compassion is an act of faith that invites the mercy of Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’ 

Be Servants of Allah as Brothers 

The prophetic tradition strongly warns against the destructive nature of envy and rivalry. Instead, we are commanded to be united as brothers and sisters, supporting one another as servants of Allah. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, 235, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not envy one another, do not inflate prices one to another, do not hate one another, do not turn away from one another, but be servants of Allah as brothers.’ 

A Partner, Not a Rival 

When you help your children to see their sibling as a partner rather than a rival, their behaviour will naturally begin to align with the Islamic values of brotherhood and sisterhood. They will learn over time that kindness and cooperation not only bring peace to the home but are a beautiful means of drawing closer to Allah.