Parenting Perspective 

It can be disheartening to hear your younger child parrot the negative words of their older sibling. You may feel an urgent need to correct the behaviour before it becomes a habit, or feel frustrated with the older child for being a poor influence. These feelings are valid. However, it is important to remember that imitation is a natural and powerful learning tool in childhood; what seems like defiance is often just a child’s way of seeking connection and understanding their social world. 

Why Younger Children Copy Negative Words 

A younger child often repeats inappropriate words not because they grasp their meaning, but because of the powerful reaction these words generate. For the younger sibling, using the same language as the older one creates a sense of belonging and identity. It is a way of saying, ‘I am connected to my older sibling, and I am part of their world.’ Child psychology shows that this same instinct to imitate can be channelled for good. The desire to copy can be redirected towards learning kindness, patience, and positive speech. 

Shaping the Older Child’s Role 

Instead of blaming the older sibling, empower them to be part of the solution. Frame their influence as a sign of importance and leadership. You might say to them privately: ‘Your younger brother really looks up to you; he copies you because you are so important to him. Imagine how amazing it would be if he started copying your good words instead.’ When framed this way, many older children will rise to the challenge. You could even create a fun ‘secret mission’ for them to teach the younger sibling new, polite, or funny phrases. 

Managing the Younger Child’s Repetition 

When the younger child repeats a negative word, your response is crucial. 

• Stay Calm: Overreacting by laughing, shouting, or showing shock gives the word immense power and makes it more appealing to repeat. 

• Correct Gently: Calmly state, ‘That is not a word we use in our family. Let us try a different one.’ 

• Model Fun Alternatives: Provide a substitute. If the word is used in moments of frustration, teach them a silly or playful alternative like ‘Oh, bananas!’ or the Arabic phrase ‘Ya salaam!’ so they have another outlet for their feelings. 

Using Consistency and Example 

Ultimately, children learn more from what they see than what they are told. If they observe you managing stress without resorting to negative language, and if they consistently hear you praising positive words, their behaviour will slowly shift. The culture of language you create in your home is more powerful than any single lecture. This approach is not just about correcting speech; it is about building resilience, self-control, and mutual respect. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places profound importance on the words we choose, viewing speech not merely as communication but as a direct reflection of our faith, manners, and self-control. Guiding children towards mindful speech is therefore a critical spiritual trust. 

Our words are never without consequence; they are recorded and will be accounted for. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Qaaf (50), Verse 18: 

‘ (Man) is unable to utter a single word, without him being closely observed (and all actions being recorded), who is always present.‘ 

Teaching this concept in an age-appropriate way helps children understand that language is a responsibility. It impresses upon them the weight and significance of their words. 

Good character, which includes refined speech, is one of the heaviest deeds on the Day of Judgement. 

It is also recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 270, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Nothing weighs heavier on the Scale of Deeds than good character.’ 

This hadith teaches that guiding our children to speak with good manners is one of the greatest forms of worship we can cultivate in them. By helping the older sibling understand the responsibility of being a role model and guiding the younger one towards respectful alternatives, you are planting seeds of taqwa (God-consciousness) and adab (good manners). This process does not just correct their words; it nurtures their souls and strengthens their character for life.