Parenting Perspective 

When a child insults or calls another child a name in public, it is both hurtful to the other child and deeply embarrassing for you as a parent. Handling the moment wisely is very important, not to ‘save face,’ but to teach the values of respect, kindness, and responsibility. The aim is to correct the behaviour firmly yet respectfully, without shaming your child in front of others. 

Address the Situation Immediately but Calmly 

It is important to step in right away with a firm but gentle reminder. You could say, “We do not use unkind names in our family.” Keeping your tone of voice calm helps to avoid escalating the embarrassment for everyone involved, while still making it clear that such behaviour is not acceptable. 

Guide a Simple and Sincere Apology 

Encourage your child to offer a simple apology to the other child on the spot. It is best to keep it short and straightforward, such as, “Please say you are sorry for what you said.” This immediate action helps to restore a sense of dignity to the child who was hurt, without turning the moment into a lengthy public lecture. 

Discuss the Impact in Private Afterwards 

Later, when you are in a quiet and private setting, you can explain to your child why their behaviour was wrong. You might say, “Words have the power to hurt people’s hearts. When you called them that name, it may have made them feel small or sad. We must always try to use words that lift people up, not words that hurt them.” This private reflection ensures the lesson can be absorbed without the added pressure of shame. 

Teach Alternatives for Expressing Frustration 

Children sometimes resort to name-calling when they are feeling frustrated or are trying to get attention. It can be helpful to give them alternative phrases to use in such moments, like, “I am feeling upset right now,” or “I do not want to play this game anymore.” Practising respectful language gives them the tools they need to handle their emotions without resorting to insults. 

By addressing the insult immediately but saving the deeper teaching for a private moment, you can help your child to understand the seriousness of their words while still protecting their dignity. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, our words are considered a trust from Allah, and using them to hurt or belittle others is a serious matter. Teaching our children to replace harmful speech with respectful and kind words is a crucial part of nurturing both their character and their faith. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verses 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…and do not insult each other; and do not call each other by (offensive) nicknames…’ 

This verse reminds us that name-calling is directly forbidden in our faith, as it wounds a person’s dignity and weakens the bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught that controlling one’s speech is a sign of faith. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 48, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must speak good or remain silent.’ 

This teaches us that a conscious restraint in speech is a mark of a true believer. By linking their everyday actions to the clear guidance of the Quran and Sunnah, you can show your child that name-calling is not just a case of bad manners, but is something that goes against the very spirit of their faith. When they learn to use words that heal rather than harm, they will grow into people who embody mercy, respect, and good character in both their public and private lives.