Parenting Perspective 

Blaming others is a common behaviour that children adopt to escape feelings of shame, discomfort, or the fear of failing. Whether a child is five or fifteen years old, frequent blaming may indicate a lack of accountability or insufficient emotional resilience. It might also arise from fear of consequences or a strong desire to protect their reputation. Parents can react by shifting the focus from assigning blame to seeking solutions. Instead of saying: 

Stop blaming. 

Consider asking: 

‘What do you believe your role was in this situation?’ ‘What actions could you take differently in the future?’ 

These reflective questions promote thoughtful consideration without creating guilt. 

Fostering a Culture of Learning from Mistakes 

• View errors as opportunities to learn, not personal faults 

• Model ownership and respectful corrective action 

• Help children understand how their actions affect others 

• Encourage calm accountability and constructive amends 

Ultimately, when a child learns to accept responsibility and repair harm without shame, they build emotional maturity and self-respect that is an essential traits for confident, responsible individuals. 

Spiritual Insight 

The noble Qur’an underscores personal accountability in every deed. 

Allah Almighty states in Surah Al Zalzalah (99), Verses 7–8: 

…Everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is good shall be observed by them…and everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is wicked shall be observed by them… 

This verse conveys that every action, no matter how small, is acknowledged and recorded by Allah Almighty. It is crucial to teach children that responsibility involves honesty, not shifting blame, both before Allah Almighty and others. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4251, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Every son of Adam makes mistakes, and the best of those who make mistakes are those who repent. ‘

This Hadith affirms that making mistakes is part of human nature, but what truly matters is recognising them and striving to correct them. Parents can guide children through a simple reflection: 

‘O Allah, help me admit when I am wrong and guide me to do better.’ 

When a child understands that Allah Almighty values humility over denial, they learn that true strength lies not in blame-shifting, but in authenticity and improvement.