Parenting Perspective 

Children do not naturally know how to calm down; they learn over time through experience, guidance, and observing others. A strategy to help a three‑year‑old relax may not be effective for a teenager and could lead to frustration. 

Age‑Appropriate Tools and Techniques 

• For younger children: Use physical tools like a calm‑down kit, breathing exercises, or a quiet corner. They benefit from tangible items and sensory‑friendly tools that assist them in managing emotions. 

• For all ages: Present visual tools for expressing anger, such as a colour chart or feelings wheel, to help identify emotions and select calming responses. 

Supporting Emotional Maturity 

Older children and teenagers may require greater independence in handling their anger. You can support them by: 

• Helping develop personalised calming routines 

• Encouraging journaling to express emotions 

• Offering a designated quiet area for personal space 

Assisting children in setting emotional boundaries and emphasising that requesting time to calm down is a sign of strength, not weakness, helps build lasting emotional intelligence. Consistent use of calming techniques, even during calm times, enables the brain to associate them with safety and balance. Over time, your child learns that calming down is a choice they can make independently. 

Spiritual Insight 

The noble Quran elevates the act of calming anger as a mark of spiritual refinement. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 63: 

And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who, wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “peace be unto you”. 

This verse demonstrates that managing our emotional reactions, particularly when provoked, is an essential aspect of demonstrating Taqwa and Rahmah. This concept can be explained to children in age‑appropriate ways, such as: ‘Allah Almighty appreciates our choice for peace, even during times of inner turmoil.’ 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4782, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

If one of you becomes angry while standing, let him sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; if not, let him lie down. 

For younger children, this Hadith can be taught through role‑play or visual demonstrations. For older children, it offers a faith‑centred method for achieving calmness without confrontation. A child may be supported to recite softly, ‘A‘udhu billahi min ash‑shaytaan ir‑rajeem’ when feeling overwhelmed. 

By engaging in these spiritual and emotional practices, children come to understand that calming down is not merely self‑control but a deeply commendable act in the eyes of Allah Almighty.