Parenting Perspective 

Identifying the indicators of increasing anger is a crucial first step in learning how to manage emotions effectively. A lot of children, particularly those aged 4 to 10, find it difficult to identify or recognise their emotions until they become too intense to handle. When a child does not have this understanding, it can lead to outbursts of anger such as hitting, shouting, or withdrawing, which can leave them feeling confused and their parents feeling frustrated. 

Parents can start by carefully noticing physical signs in the moment, such as clenched hands, an elevated voice, or stomping feet. Utilising an emotion chart or a straightforward traffic‑light system assists children in linking their physical sensations to terms such as upset, angry, or furious. This creates a connection between feeling and comprehension. 

Daily Strategies to Support Emotional Awareness 

• Promote regular check‑ins each day for the child to think about how they are feeling. 

• For older children, a journal helps deepen self‑understanding. 

• Younger children can use drawings or cards displaying facial expressions. 

• Provide emotional coaching during calm times to build vocabulary for feelings. 

It is important to understand that this is not about suppressing anger, but rather recognising its early signs and allowing reflection. Identifying anger early enables children to manage their emotions more effectively and reduces the likelihood of aggressive reactions. 

Spiritual Insight 

Emotional recognition and self‑restraint are highly praised qualities in Islam. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134: 

Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent. 

This verse shows that recognising anger and responding with self‑control and forgiveness reflects a high standard of character. Helping children identify their feelings is a key step in bringing this verse into daily life. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The strong is not the one who overcomes people by strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself in anger. ‘

Supporting a child to recognise and label their anger provides them with essential skills for emotional and moral growth. This emphasises that Allah Almighty rewards those who pause before reacting. A child who learns to identify anger early is better equipped to choose kindness instead of harm, aligning their actions with values grounded in responsibility and faith.