Parenting Perspective 

Restitution is an important practice when a parent realises that their actions have harmed their child. As a parent, taking responsibility for your mistakes and making restitution shows your child that actions have consequences and that making things right is part of personal growth. It is important to teach children that restitution is not about compensating them for harm in a transactional way, but about healing the relationship and restoring trust. 

Restitution becomes appropriate when you recognise that your actions have caused harm or distress. Whether it is through harsh words or broken promises, acknowledging the harm is the first step in making things right. 

When Is Restitution Appropriate? 

Restitution is necessary when: 

• Emotional harm has been caused, such as through yelling or neglect. 

• Broken promises have created a sense of disappointment or hurt. 

• Physical harm has been caused, even unintentionally. 

• Loss of trust has occurred, whether from dishonesty or not following through on commitments. 

In each of these situations, restitution is not just about making up for the specific harm, but also about acknowledging the impact on the child’s emotional well-being. 

Forms of Restitution 

Restitution does not always mean giving something material; it often involves emotional efforts that demonstrate remorse and care. 

• Sincere Apology and Acknowledgment: A heartfelt apology is the first step. Say, ‘I am sorry for what I did, and I can understand how that made you feel hurt. I regret my actions and I will work on not repeating them.’ 

• Making Amends through Actions: Make tangible efforts to correct the issue. If it is a broken promise, follow through and demonstrate reliability. 

• Time and Attention: Offering quality time together can be a powerful form of restitution. This demonstrates to your child that their emotional needs are important to you. 

• Restoring Trust through Consistency: After an apology, consistency in your actions is key. By consistently keeping promises, you rebuild trust over time. 

Encouraging Healing through Reflection 

Let your child know that they can share their feelings with you. Sometimes restitution requires revisiting the situation together. 

• Modelling Change: Teach your child that it is not just about saying sorry, but about showing through your actions that you have learned from your mistake. 

By tailoring restitution to the child’s needs, you can ensure that the process of mending the relationship is meaningful. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Power of Repentance and Righteous Action 

The noble Quran highlights that sincere repentance, accompanied by righteous actions, leads to the transformation of past wrongs into good. It is a reminder that even when mistakes are made, the path of repentance is a means of seeking Allah’s forgiveness. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 70: 

‘Except for the one who sought repentance, and believed (in the truth), and enacted virtuous deeds; so, for those people, Allah (Almighty) shall substitute (and extinguish) their evil deeds with good deeds; and Allah (Almighty) is All Forgiving and All Merciful. ‘ 

For parents, this encourages the act of restitution by showing that our efforts to make things right are part of Allah’s mercy. 

The Importance of Good Character at Home 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ tell us that the essence of good character in Islam begins at home. By making restitution with our children, we are not only repairing the damage caused by our actions but also embodying the teachings of the Prophet ﷺ. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 278, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This reinforces that true goodness is shown through our treatment of those closest to us. Through these teachings, you help your child understand that making amends is not about perfection, but about sincere efforts to fix what has been broken and rebuild trust.