Parenting Perspective 

Peer pressure at school can be one of the most powerful influences on a child’s desires. When classmates display expensive items like branded shoes or the latest gadgets, children can feel a compelling need to own the same things simply to fit in. This pressure can create dissatisfaction with what they already have and may lead them to connect their self-worth with their possessions. 

The Strong Desire for Belonging 

Children have a natural and deep-seated need for acceptance. If social status at school appears to be linked to owning expensive items, your child may begin demanding them, fearing exclusion or ridicule if they cannot keep up. This can leave them feeling anxious and insecure. 

The Risk of Entitlement and Conflict 

Constant demands for costly items can foster a sense of entitlement, where a child starts to believe that being loved or accepted is demonstrated by having their material wants met. This can lead to repeated conflicts at home, often fuelled by the argument, ‘But everyone else has it’. 

Undermining Gratitude and Simplicity 

When the approval of their peers becomes the main objective, children may lose their appreciation for simpler blessings. This weakens their resilience, as they learn to rely on possessions for respect rather than on their own character or kindness. 

Helping Your Child Resist Peer Pressure 

Parents can equip children with the confidence to navigate these social pressures. 

• Validate their feelings of wanting to fit in, while gently explaining that true friendship is not built on what a person owns. 

• Encourage pride in individuality, highlighting their unique strengths and positive qualities that have nothing to do with possessions. 

• Set clear and consistent financial boundaries so they understand what is reasonable for the family. 

• Share stories of inspiring people who earned respect through their character and actions, not through status symbols. 

By taking these steps, parents can help their children value themselves for who they are, not for what they own. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that true honour and respect are earned through faith and good character, not through wealth or possessions. The kind of peer pressure that links a child’s self-worth to expensive items is a modern reflection of deeply misplaced values. 

The Quranic Reminder of True Honour 

The Quran redirects our understanding of status, making it clear that the best among us are not the wealthiest or most popular, but the most righteous. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘…Indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous…’ 

This verse is a powerful reminder that our true worth is measured by our piety and consciousness of Allah, not by worldly standards. 

Prophetic Wisdom on Inner Purity 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that the foundation of a person’s goodness is not their outward appearance or possessions, but the state of their heart. 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 52, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Beware! There is a piece of flesh in the body, and if it is sound, the whole body is sound; and if it is corrupt, the whole body is corrupt. That piece is the heart.’ 

This hadith teaches us to focus on purifying our inner self, as this is the source of all true and lasting value. 

Building a Child’s Inner Strength 

By consistently linking a child’s worth to their kindness, honesty, and relationship with Allah, parents can help them resist the powerful pull of peer pressure. This approach cultivates gratitude and simplicity, allowing children to develop a strong sense of self-worth that is rooted in faith rather than in fleeting material possessions.