Parenting Perspective 

Children are naturally curious and will often ask questions about why family members, neighbours, or even their own parents do things in different ways. These questions present a wonderful opportunity to teach them about respect and understanding, but the way that you answer them matters a great deal. If you react with a sense of defensiveness or superiority, your child may absorb those same attitudes. A gentle and thoughtful explanation, on the other hand, can help them to learn that differences are normal, valuable, and not in any way threatening. 

Keep Your Explanations Simple and Respectful 

It is helpful to use age-appropriate language to explain differences. You might say, ‘In Mummy’s family, people often show their love through the food they cook, and in Daddy’s family, people often show their love through the words they use. Both of them are beautiful ways of caring for one another.’ This helps to frame the difference as a source of enrichment. 

Emphasise the Values Behind the Traditions 

You can link a particular practice to its underlying meaning. For example, ‘Grandma covers her head in this particular way because it is how her culture expresses the value of modesty. We all practise modesty in our own way, but the style can sometimes look different.’ This helps your child to see the unity within the diversity. 

Avoid Using Judgemental Language 

It is important to never dismiss or mock another person’s tradition. Try to replace phrases like, ‘That is a bit strange,’ with a more open and respectful comment, such as, ‘That is another way that people live, and it can teach us something new.’ 

Model a Sense of Curiosity and Gratitude 

Encourage your child to ask their questions in a respectful way, and try to respond with an attitude of gratitude. A phrase like, ‘Alhamdulillah, Allah has given us so many different ways to live and to learn from each other,’ helps to set a positive and appreciative tone. 

By taking the time to explain these differences gently, you can prepare your child to embrace diversity with a sense of respect and humility, while at the same time feeling perfectly secure in their own identity. 

Spiritual Insight 

Wisdom, Kindness, and Justice in Our Explanations 

Islam guides us to speak with wisdom, kindness, and a sense of justice when we are explaining our differences. The goal is not to elevate one group of people over another, but to show that Allah created variety as a beautiful sign of His wisdom. 

The Command to Speak with Wisdom 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verses 125: 

‘Invite (people) to (follow) the (prescribed) pathways of your Sustainer with wisdom, and polite enlightened direction, and only argue with them in the politest manner…’ 

This verse reminds us that when we are explaining sensitive matters to our children, we must always choose words that are gentle and wise. 

The Prohibition of Looking Down on Others 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 1574, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is enough evil for a Muslim to look down upon his brother Muslim.’ 

This hadith teaches us that belittling others, even in very subtle ways, is something that is against the beautiful manners of Islam. By gently answering your child’s questions with wisdom and respect, you are showing them that our differences are not faults, but are in fact signs of the magnificent design of Allah. They will learn from your example that our true honour lies not in our culture, but in our taqwa, and that our respectful words are what can protect our hearts from division.