Parenting Perspective

It is natural for children to feel embarrassed after they have done something wrong, often fearing that an admission of fault will make them seem weak. As a parent, you have the opportunity to reshape this perception by teaching them that asking for forgiveness is, in fact, a sign of great maturity and courage. When you consistently frame apology as an act of strength, you help them to grow into adults who view their mistakes not as reasons to hide in shame, but as opportunities to repair and reconnect.

Model the Act of Seeking Forgiveness

One of the most powerful ways to teach this is to model it yourself. When you make a mistake or speak too hastily, apologising openly to your child by saying something like, ‘I was feeling upset earlier, and I am sorry for the way I spoke. Please forgive me,’ is a profound lesson. This act helps to normalise the process for them, demonstrating that emotionally strong and mature people are able to admit their own faults.

Praise the Courage It Takes to Apologise

When your child offers an apology, it is important to respond with warmth and to praise the act itself. You could say, ‘Thank you. That must have taken a lot of courage, and Allah loves when we are brave enough to ask for forgiveness.’ By praising the character behind the action, you help your child to feel a sense of pride in doing the right thing.

Reframe Mistakes as Opportunities for Growth

Help your child to see their mistakes in a more hopeful light. When they have slipped up, you can reassure them by saying, ‘Every single person makes mistakes. The people who are truly strong are the ones who can say sorry and then try to do better next time.’ This shifts the focus away from a feeling of shame and towards a more positive mindset of growth and improvement.

Use Stories to Illustrate Strength in Forgiveness

Share stories of the Prophets, who were the greatest of all people, seeking forgiveness from Allah. Narratives like these help children to understand that humility and the act of turning back to Allah are essential parts of greatness, not signs of weakness.

By embedding these habits into your family culture, you can transform the act of seeking forgiveness from something that feels shameful into a celebrated act of strength that brings your children closer to both you and Allah.

Spiritual Insight

The Quran on the Nobility of Seeking Forgiveness

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verses 135:

‘And when those people who have committed immoral actions, or wronged themselves; (they should) remember Allah (Almighty), and then ask for forgiveness for their sins; and who can forgive their sins except Allah (Almighty), and do not intentionally continue to persist on what (wrong) you have done.’

This verse beautifully reframes the definition of a believer. It shows that true piety is not found in a person who never makes mistakes, but rather in a person who, when they do make a mistake, quickly remembers Allah and seeks His forgiveness. Teaching this to your children helps them to see that seeking forgiveness is a mark of true strength and faith.

Prophetic Wisdom on the Honour of Repentance

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4251, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

‘All the children of Adam commit sins, and the best of those who commit sins are those who repent.’

This hadith powerfully teaches that the act of repentance is not something shameful, but is in fact an act of honour that elevates a person. When parents connect this profound message to everyday situations, children begin to understand that seeking forgiveness does not lower their dignity; on the contrary, it raises it. Over time, they will come to learn that real strength lies not in never falling, but in the humility to turn back to Allah and the sincerity to repair their relationships.