Parenting Perspective 

When a child experiences a moment of panic in a public setting, it can be a frightening experience for both them and their parent. Their body can feel out of control, with a racing heart, a tight chest, or sweaty palms, and they often do not have the tools to calm themselves down. The parent, on the other hand, can feel torn between soothing their child and worrying about the judgement of onlookers. In such moments, what matters most is teaching your child a few simple and reliable tools that can help them to restore a sense of calm without making them feel embarrassed. 

Use Breathing as a Calming Anchor 

The breath is one of the fastest and most effective ways to interrupt a feeling of panic. Instead of simply saying, ‘Calm down,’ you can guide your child through a simple routine that they can easily remember. 

• Smell the flower, blow out the candle: Ask them to take a slow, deep breath in through their nose (as if smelling a flower) and then to breathe out gently through their mouth (as if blowing out a candle). 

• Counted breathing: Teach them to inhale for a count of four, to hold their breath for a count of two, and then to exhale for a count of six. The longer exhale sends a signal to the body to relax. 

• Buddy breathing: For younger children, you can place a hand on your own chest and breathe slowly, inviting them to copy your rhythm. This shows them that they are not alone. 

These strategies are most effective when they are practised at home during calm times, so that when a moment of panic arises in public, the routine feels familiar and comforting. 

Use a Modified Wudu for Renewal 

If a washroom or another water source is nearby, you can encourage your child to perform a quick, adapted Wudu. The simple act of washing the hands, face, and arms with a clear intention can feel like pressing a reset button. The cool water can help to slow a racing body and shifts their attention away from the feeling of panic. Even just sprinkling a little water on their face or hands can help to ground them. 

Help Them to Regain Their Confidence 

After using either the breath or water technique, it is important to validate your child’s effort rather than focusing on the panic itself. You might say, ‘I am so proud of how you took control by focusing on your breathing,’ or ‘Making Wudu helped you to find your calm again, did it not?’ This helps to transform the moment of panic into a chance to practise self-control, rather than it being a moment of failure. 

The key is not to eliminate the feeling of panic entirely, but to help your child to trust that they have the tools to bring themselves back to a state of calm, even in a public space. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam provides us with simple yet profound practices that can soothe the heart when anxiety rises. The acts of breathing and using water are not just physical routines; they also carry a deep spiritual symbolism. Mindful breathing can become a form of dhikr (remembrance), while Wudu cleanses both the body and the spirit. 

Finding Peace in the Remembrance of Allah 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ra’ad (13), Verse 28: 

‘…Indeed, it is only with the remembrance of Allah (Almighty) that one can (and does) find peace of mind and heart.’ 

This verse reminds us that even when a feeling of panic rises, the simple act of turning the breath into remembrance, perhaps by quietly saying ‘Allah’ while inhaling and ‘Alhamdulillah’ while exhaling, can anchor the heart in a state of tranquillity. 

The Prophetic Counsel for Calming Anger 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4784, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When any one of you is angry, let him perform ablution, for anger arises from fire.’ 

If Wudu has the power to cool the fire of anger, it can certainly also soothe the burning feeling of panic. The touch of water not only calms the nervous system but also reminds a child that Allah Almighty provides a means of relief in every hardship. 

By teaching your child these simple routines, you are not just giving them coping skills; you are rooting them in their faith. They learn that a sense of peace is not to be found in the approval of others, but in the act of returning to Allah Almighty through the breath, through water, and through remembrance.