What can I do when my child screams instead of explaining feelings? 

Parenting Perspective 

Stay Calm and Connect 

When a child screams instead of using words, it can feel exhausting and frustrating for any parent. Screaming is often a sign that your child’s feelings are too big for their words; they may not yet know how to explain what is happening inside. The first step is to remind yourself that your calm response is what teaches your child a better way. Take a breath before reacting. Speak in a soft but clear voice: ‘I see you feel really upset. Let us take some deep breaths together.’ Staying calm shows your child that their feelings can be handled without shouting. 

Practice and Prepare 

When they are calmer, help them to practise simple words for next time. Use phrases they can remember: ‘I feel angry,’ ‘I feel scared,’ or, ‘I feel frustrated.’ Young children learn best through play. Try acting out scenarios with toys or using picture cards that show different emotions. Praise any effort your child makes to use words, even if they sometimes slip back into shouting. If you sense that certain moments trigger the screaming, try to prepare them in advance. For example, say, ‘We will be leaving the park in five minutes,’ rather than waiting until the last moment. Over time, your gentle patience teaches your child that feelings are not scary monsters to shout about, but signals they can learn to name and handle with your support. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours every emotion but reminds us to handle them with calm hearts and gentle words. Screaming is not something to shame a child for, but a sign that they need help learning self-control. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.‘

This verse shows that holding back from letting emotions explode is an act of goodness that pleases Allah Almighty. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2609a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The strong man is not the one who can overpower others; the strong man is the one who controls himself when he is angry.‘

When you model calmness in the face of your child’s screaming, you show them the true strength that our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught. Teach your child a simple Dua to say when they feel the urge to scream: ‘Ya Allah, help me use good words when I feel upset.’ These gentle steps, repeated patiently, help your child to trust that they can handle big feelings in ways that bring mercy into your home and closeness to Allah Almighty.