How can I explain that friends can have different feelings too? 

Parenting Perspective 

A Normal Developmental Stage 

Children sometimes believe that everyone should feel exactly the way they do. This is especially true when they are young and still learning that each person has their own inner world. If your child thinks, ‘My friend must want to play the same game as me,’ or ‘She should not feel sad when I feel happy,’ they may struggle when a friend pulls away or reacts unexpectedly. Gently helping your child understand that each person has their own feelings teaches respect and empathy, two qualities that keep friendships strong. 

Use Simple Examples and Stories 

Begin with simple daily examples. If your child says, ‘My friend was grumpy today,’ pause and explore that. You could ask, ‘Why do you think they felt that way?’ or ‘Do you think they had a difficult day?’ Storybooks are a wonderful tool for this. Read stories where different characters feel different things in the same situation. Talk about how one might feel excited while another feels scared or left out. You can also use real-life moments, like family disagreements, to show that it is normal for people to have different reactions. 

Praise Acts of Empathy 

Praise your child when they show understanding for a friend’s feelings. Practise simple phrases with them, like, ‘I see you feel sad, how can I help?’ This shows them how to notice and respond with care. Small steps, like offering to play something else when a friend looks sad or giving them space if they need it, show real growth in empathy. Over time, your gentle guidance teaches your child that good friends do not have to feel the same way about everything, but they do need to care about each other’s hearts. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam beautifully reminds us that understanding and caring for others’ feelings is part of our duty as believers. Allah Almighty teaches us to stand together with mercy and patience, even when we feel different inside. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.‘

This Ayah is a powerful reminder that unity comes through respecting each other’s differences and feelings. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2594a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Gentleness is not in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it makes it defective.‘

When your child learns to accept that a friend can feel happy, sad, or worried about something they do not understand, they grow in gentleness. Encourage your child to make a short Dua to be a caring friend, such as, ‘Ya Allah, help me see my friend’s feelings and be kind.’ Bit by bit, they will come to see that true friendship does not mean always feeling the same but standing by each other with respect, patience, and love that pleases Allah Almighty.