How do I stop tantrums when turning off devices?

Parenting Perspective

Understanding the Transition

For many parents, ending screen time can feel like a daily battle, especially for children who have special educational needs (SEN) or find transitions difficult. Screens often create a sense of escape and control, so switching them off can feel like a sudden loss. The goal is not to eliminate all protests overnight but to make transitions gentler and less stressful.

Set Clear Expectations Beforehand

Start by setting clear expectations before the screen goes on. Use simple words: ‘You can watch for 20 minutes, then we will turn it off.’ Visual timers or countdowns help children see the time passing. Give reminders: ‘Five more minutes, then we stop.’ If your child struggles to grasp time, use cues like a favourite song as a ‘finish’ signal.3 Offer choices when possible: ‘Would you like to turn it off yourself or shall I do it for you?’ This gives them a sense of control within the limit.

Responding to a Meltdown Calmly

If a meltdown happens, stay calm. Speak gently but hold the limit: ‘I know you are upset. The screen time is finished now. I am here for you.’ Avoid long lectures; when emotions are high, fewer words help more than many.4

Transition to a New Activity

Transition straight to a comforting or fun activity: a snack, a game, or outdoor play. This eases the gap between the screen and real life. Praise any effort to cope well: ‘You turned it off, even though it was hard. That was brave.’

Over time, consistent routines and gentle firmness build trust. Remember: your calm presence is more powerful than any shouting or threats. Tantrums may still happen, but they will soften as your child learns that the limit is kind, fair, and always the same.

Spiritual Insight

Islam encourages balance and teaches us to be gentle yet firm in guiding our children. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 19:

‘And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys.‘

This Ayah reminds us that calm speech is stronger than angry shouting.

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ always guided with patience, repeating words calmly and showing mercy, even when people resisted change. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1828, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated:

‘Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people.‘

This Hadith Shareef reminds us that holding limits is not harshness; it is an act of mercy when done with kindness.

Make a quiet Dua with your child: ‘O Allah Almighty, help me stay calm and help me listen.’ Gently remind them that we thank Allah Almighty for good things like screens, but we use them in balance, so our hearts and minds stay healthy.

With clear boundaries, warm reassurance, and your trust in Allah Almighty’s help, your child will learn that putting the screen away is not the end of their fun, it is the beginning of something better for their heart and home.