What should I do if my child has a meltdown in public? 

Parenting Perspective 

Understand the Meltdown, Not the Behaviour 

When your child has a meltdown in public, screaming, kicking, or crying, it can feel overwhelming and isolating. Meltdowns are not tantrums or misbehaviour; they are often the result of sensory overload, fear, tiredness, or unmet needs your child cannot express calmly. First, remind yourself that you are not failing as a parent. Try to stay calm so you can help your child feel safe again. 

Stay Calm and Find a Quiet Space 

Speak softly and get down to their level if you can. Keep your words simple: ‘I see you are upset. I am here for you.’ Avoid too many questions or instructions, which can make things worse. If possible, move to a quieter spot, the car, a side bench, or somewhere with less noise and fewer staring eyes. Ignore any judgemental looks; those people do not know your child’s story. 

Use a ‘Calm Kit’ and Respect Their Space 

Have a small ‘calm kit’ with you; headphones, fidget toys, or a favourite snack can help soothe your child. If they do not want to be touched, respect that; some children need space until their emotions settle. Focus on your child’s needs first, not what strangers might think. 

Handle Onlookers and Reconnect Afterwards 

When people stare or comment, try not to engage. A calm ‘He is having a hard time right now, thank you’ is enough if you feel the need to say anything. Afterwards, reassure your child that you are not angry and they are not bad. Talk through what happened once they are calm: ‘Next time, we can take a break before it feels too much.’ Prepare together for future outings; small changes like shorter trips, visiting at quiet times, or bringing a comfort item can make a big difference. 

Spiritual Insight 

Our faith reminds us that Allah Almighty sees every struggle you face in caring for your child, including moments that feel lonely and judged by others. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Ash-Sharh (94), Verses 5–6: 

‘For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.‘

This Ayah is a beautiful reminder that every test is paired with a pathway to relief. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ showed mercy and patience with those who struggled in public. He ﷺ never scolded or humiliated but responded with compassion and understanding. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1828, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people.‘

Your calm response, even when tired and embarrassed, is an act of mercy that Allah Almighty sees and rewards. 

Make Dua: ‘O Allah Almighty, give me patience and protect my child from harm.’ When your child calms down, remind them gently that you love them; their struggle does not lessen their worth. Trust that every moment of Sabr you show in public is a seed of reward, and that your patience teaches your child they are safe with you, no matter what.