How do I explain my child’s diagnosis to extended family? 

Parenting Perspective 

Using Simple and Clear Language 

Explaining your child’s special educational needs (SEN) to extended family can feel daunting, but it helps build understanding and support for you and your child. Start by deciding what they truly need to know, you do not have to share every detail. Use simple, clear language rather than overwhelming medical terms: ‘His brain learns differently, so he needs extra help to speak clearly,’ or ‘She feels anxious in noisy places, so we keep things calm.’ 

Choosing a Calm Moment and Sharing Practical Examples 

Choose a calm moment to talk, not in the middle of a family gathering where misunderstandings can grow. Share practical examples so they can see how your child’s needs affect everyday life: ‘If you ask him one question at a time, he answers better.’ Be honest about what helps and what does not and invite their questions without getting defensive. 

Preparing for Mixed Reactions 

It is natural for family members to react with surprise, disbelief, or even denial. Stay patient and focus on what they can do to support you, not on convincing them overnight. Offer to share reliable articles, short videos, or invite them to an appointment or therapy session if they are open to it. 

Protecting Your Child’s Privacy and Dignity 

Protect your child’s privacy and dignity. Explain that your child may not want everyone to talk about their needs openly, especially older children. Reassure your child that their worth does not depend on people’s opinions. The goal is to build understanding, not shame or pity. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that protecting each family member’s dignity is part of our trust (Amanah). 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujurat (49), Verse 12: 

‘…And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it… ‘

This Ayah reminds us that speaking about someone’s private struggles in careless ways is deeply discouraged. 

Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ guided his companions with gentle speech and patience when explaining sensitive matters. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1828, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people. ‘

This Hadith Shareef reminds us that kindness should shape how we talk about our loved ones’ differences. 

Encourage extended family to see your child’s needs through a lens of empathy, not judgement. Remind them that every person’s challenges and strengths are part of Allah Almighty’s perfect plan. Make Dua: O Allah Almighty, grant my family understanding and mercy in their hearts. 

By sharing your child’s diagnosis with wisdom, honesty, and spiritual reminders, you help others see that caring for your child is not a burden but a path to Barakah, and that protecting their dignity is an act of faith.