Finding Yourself Again to Become a More Present Parent 

Parenting Perspective 

It is deeply human to feel that parts of you disappeared in the process of becoming a parent. Motherhood or fatherhood can sometimes feel like total immersion, with no room to surface, no voice of your own. Yet this question reveals a beautiful yearning: not to escape parenting, but to be fully present within it. 

Finding yourself again does not mean rejecting your role. It means integrating who you are into how you perform parenting. When your child sees you engage in something that lights you up, whether it is five minutes of sketching, walking, or reading, they learn that adulthood is not a loss of identity but an expansion of it. 

Start with Small Practices 

Start with small practices. Reclaim one forgotten interest and invite your child into that space when appropriate, not to perform but to share. For instance, if you once loved painting, let them see you set up your materials, even briefly, and explain, ‘This helps me feel more alive, just like you feel when you play.’ 

Your presence becomes richer when it is rooted in wholeness, not depletion. It teaches your child that being responsible does not require becoming invisible. You are not only their comfort or their order; you are a soul with dreams, emotions, and agency, and they are safe learning from that. 

Reclaiming the lost parts of yourself will not happen all at once. But every moment you prioritise meaning, even quietly, you are stitching yourself back into your own story, not just as a parent, but as a soul. 

Spiritual Insight 

Parenthood in Islam is an immense Amanah, a trust, but it is not the erasure of the self. Islamic tradition recognises the full spectrum of human need: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Honouring your own being is not selfish; it is part of fulfilling the trust of parenthood with Ihsan (excellence). 

A Reminder That Your Identity is Part of the Trust 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shams (91), verses 7–8: 

‘And by the soul and how it is designed (for infusion into the body); thus, We (Allah Almighty) have designed (the soul with discretion) for wickedness and piety.’ 

This reminds us that every human being is divinely shaped, unique, capable of good, and entrusted with cultivating that self in alignment with divine guidance. Your identity is not incidental to your parenting; it is part of the trust you hold. 

The Prophetic Model: Your Self Has a Right Over You 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Your own self has a right over you.‘ 

[Sahih al-Bukhari, 83:12] 

In this, the Prophet ﷺ clearly affirms the responsibility to care for yourself, alongside your duties to others. Your spiritual, emotional, and personal health matters, not only for your sake, but for your family’s. 

So yes, finding yourself again, gently, without guilt, is not only allowed. It may be what helps you become even more present, loving, and alive in your parenting.