We argue less with words and more with blameful glances or disapproval. Does Islamic adab cover non-verbal cues too? 

Parenting Perspective 

Absolutely. Non-verbal communication is just as powerful as spoken words, particularly within a family. Disapproving looks, heavy sighs, or subtle eye-rolls all carry intense emotional meaning, and children are especially sensitive to these cues. Even when no words are exchanged, they can feel the undercurrent of conflict or rejection in a room. When parents primarily interact through blameful glances, a child absorbs this constant tension without understanding its cause. Over time, they may become anxious or emotionally hypervigilant, trying to decode every shift in mood. This is not only exhausting for them; it also subtly teaches them that difficult emotions should be suppressed or handled through silent withdrawal rather than open, respectful conversation. 

The hidden impact of non-verbal blame 

A child does not need to witness a full-blown argument to feel unsafe. A shared glance of visible disdain between their parents can be enough to teach them that connection is fragile and conditional. If you find yourselves relying on non-verbal cues to express disagreement, it is time to reflect: are we saying nothing, but still communicating harm? You can begin to change this by replacing blameful glances with respectful words that create a boundary, such as, “Can we please talk about this later?” This approach offers clarity without shame, protecting both your marital bond and the emotional honesty of your home. It creates an environment where difficult feelings are not hidden, but are handled with dignity. 

Spiritual Insight 

In the Islamic tradition, adab (etiquette) is not limited to our words; it fully encompasses our tone, gestures, expressions, and all unspoken behaviour. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ exemplified this with remarkable grace. He never showed contempt, even towards those who had wronged him. His silence was never cold, and his gaze never conveyed disdain. He preserved the dignity of others with such precision that his very presence was filled with rahmah (mercy), not resentment. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 37: 

‘And do not walk around the Earth in an insolent manner; indeed, as you will never be able to change the shape of the Earth, and you will never grow taller than the mountains. ‘

This verse reminds us that the way we carry ourselves, including our posture and non-verbal presence, is a matter of spiritual discipline. Emotional arrogance can be conveyed not only through words but also through the subtlest gesture of disapproval. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 48, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak what is good or remain silent. ‘

Islamic scholars have clarified that this command to remain silent should not be used as a means to harm, manipulate, or wound another person. If silence becomes a form of blame or emotional isolation, it moves away from prophetic mercy and towards a state of injustice. So yes, Islamic adab most certainly includes our non-verbal cues. By consciously choosing softness in your expressions, kindness in your gaze, and patience in your presence, you not only honour your spouse but also create a sanctuary of emotional safety for your child. In such a home, even what is left unspoken can become a source of healing, not of harm.